Bottle. Ay—he’ll never course hares again in this world. Gentlemen, the court is adjourned.
[Exeunt omnes.
EPITAPH,
Composed by Sam. Snivel, the parish clerk, proposed to be put, at Farmer Carter’s expense, on the unfortunate malefactor’s tombstone:
Here lie the remains
of
honest PORTER;
who,
after an innocent and well-spent life,
was dragged hither, and
tried,
for a crime he never committed,
upon laws to which he was unamenable,
before men who were no judges,
found guilty without evidence,
and hanged without mercy:
to give to future ages an example,
that the spirit
of Turkish despotism, tyranny, and
oppression,
after glutting itself with the conquest of
liberty
in British men,
has stooped at length to wreak its bloody
vengeance
on British dogs!
Anno Dom. 1771.
Requiescat in pace!
S. S.
This humorous “Trial” was written in consequence of “a real event which actually took place, in 1771, near Chichester.” The persons who composed the court are designated by fictitious names; but to a copy of the pamphlet, in the possession of the editor of the Every-day Book, there is a manuscript-key to their identity. The affair is long past, and they are therefore added in italics.
’SQUIRES.
J. Bottle—Butler.
A. Noodle—Aldridge.
Mat o’ the Mill—Challen.
O. Ponser—Bridger.
It appears that “the actors in the tragedy were well known by their nicknames, given in Mr. Long’s pamphlet.”