N.B. In the Antipodes, every thing goes contrary to our manners: wives rule their husbands; servants govern their masters; old men go to school again, &c.
Son. Servant. Gentleman, and Lady, natives. English Traveller.
Servant (to his young Master.) How well you saw
Your father to school to day, knowing how apt
He is to play the truant!
Son. But is he not
Yet gone to school?
Servant. Stand by, and you shall see.
Enter three old men with satchels.
All three. (singing) Domine, domine, duster:
Three knaves in a cluster.
Son. O this is gallant pastime. Nay, come on.
Is this your school? was that your lesson, ha?
1st old man. Pray now, good son, indeed, indeed—
Son. Indeed
You shall to school. Away with him; and take
Their wagships with him, the whole cluster of ’em.
2d old man. You sha’nt send us now, so you sha’nt—
3d old man. We be none of your father, so we be’nt—
Son. Away with ’em, I say; and tell their school mistress
What truants they are, and bid her pay ’em soundly.
All three. Oh, oh, oh!
Lady. Alas! will nobody beg pardon for
The poor old boys?
English Traveller. Do men of such fair years here go to school?
Gentleman. They would die dunces else.
These were great scholars in their youth; but when
Age grows upon men here, their learning wastes.
And so decays, that if they live until
Threescore, their sons send them to school again;
They’d die as speechless else as new-born children.
English Traveller. Tis a wise nation; and the piety
Of the young men most rare and commendable.
Yet give me, as a stranger, leave to beg
Their liberty this day.
Son. Tis granted.
Hold up your heads, and thank the gentleman,
Like scholars, with your heels now.
All three. Gratias, gratias, gratias. (exeunt singing.)
[From the “Asparagus Garden,” a Comedy, by the same Author, 1634.]
Private Conference.
Father-in-Law. You’ll not assault me in my own house, nor urge me beyond my patience with your borrowing attempts.