John Upjohn Junior ran into the house just in time for supper. He was so excited and his entrance was so precipitate that he almost collided with his mother, who had just reached the foot of the stairs; and only by the exercise of almost superhuman agility he managed to avoid that catastrophe. It was just as well, for many reasons; the reason which influenced John Junior being that such an accident was likely to result, then and thereafter, in more damage to himself than to his mother.
He flung his cap down on the hall table with such violence that it slid off and fell upon the floor; but he could not pick it up at the moment because he was engaged in shedding his overcoat, which immediately slipped off of his arms upon a chair. He began to speak at once.
"M—m—m—moth—ther!" he exclaimed explosively. "I—I—'v—ve—darn it all!"
Mrs. Upjohn rebuked her offspring mildly. "John, what is the matter with you? Is your name Carling, that you can't speak without stuttering so? And I should think you would do well to moderate your language, at any rate when you speak to your mother. And you must learn to come into the house less like a tornado. Come in quietly, like a gentleman."
John Junior gave a contemptuous grunt. "J—just been h—hearing the Carlings talking. That's wh—why I can't talk 'n' wh—why I st—st—stut—t—ter so. Gosh darn it! I mean hang it!"
"Pick up your cap, John," Mrs. Upjohn commanded sternly. "And hang it, if you will." This pun of Mrs. Upjohn's somewhat softened her stern command. She could not help smiling.
John kicked his cap out from behind the table and, picking it up, threw it at the hat-rack, where it happened to catch and stick. He began again.
"I—I—I'v—ve g—g—got s—s—s—"
"Suppose you go up and wash your face and hands," Mrs. Upjohn suggested, "and come down to supper. The bell rang before you came in. When you come down you may be able to talk intelligibly."
So John Junior rushed upstairs and, after an incredibly short period, during which we must suppose that he went through some sort of an operation which he regarded as sufficient, he appeared again, slid down the balusters like lightning, landed at the bottom with an appalling thump, and ran into the dining-room.