The Quack takes all those natural occurrences of boyhood and in his advertisements points them out to you. He well knows that each and every symptom he describes will be found in all HEALTHY boys. For instance he says that if you have dark rings under your eyes it is a dangerous symptom. Of course you will find dark rings under your eyes at times. Just after a night’s natural emission. This is the time to throw a scare into you. You have never thought of those dark rings before, but now you look into the mirror, and “Oh, I’m lost—there they are!”
Rotten nonsense! They have always been there, but you didn’t receive the suggestion before you read the advertisement or those criminal booklets. And that picture: “Before Taking; After Taking.” You know them well.
I was acquainted with a fellow who had been quite an athlete. Somehow he never seemed to make good. He tried almost everything but never stuck to one thing. He passed out of my mind for some time. One day I met him on Broadway, swinging along full of health and apparent contentment. He told me that he had tried to be an actor, but was now doing something better. He smiled and answered that he was “making good money” when I asked him what he was doing.
A few days after this little conversation he came to my office. At least a forlorn creature staggered in and sank down in a chair. He was thin-looking, pale and had pimples all over his face. His clothes hung on him—just hung, nothing else. His arm was in a sling and he talked with effort.
“You don’t know me, Doctor?” Then he straightened himself up and showed a magnificent figure even under the draggled clothes. He was the athlete. Then he explained:
He had fallen downstairs in a photographer’s shop and broken his arm, and without waiting to wash and dress had rushed to me. As he paid the fee out of a big roll of bills he said:
“Oh, it’s easy money, Doctor.”
“What is?”
“Beating you simple men out of your rights. Why don’t you all wake up? These fakers I am working for have gotten you chaps beaten to a frazzle. Why, the phony docs I work for just have a basket to shove their suckers’ money in.
“What do I do? I am the ‘Great and Only Before Taking and After Taking Artist.’ See? No?