My expected visitor soon entered the room where I was at breakfast, and by his manner I perceived that he was just as warm and determined in my behalf as he was the previous evening. Perfectly frank with me, he inquired into the nature of my family connexions, my age, how long had I been in the service, and other matters. Having satisfied himself upon certain points, he requested me to accompany him to ——, in St. James's Street, whither we immediately proceeded.
The waiter showed us into a private room, and my conductor asked if Mr. **** was yet up. On being informed that he was, and at breakfast, my friend expressed his wish to see him. The waiter withdrew, and returned in a few minutes, with an answer that Mr. **** was sorry he could not be seen for an hour. Upon this, my friend drew forth a card, and desired that it should be given to him immediately; observing, that he wished particularly to see him. The waiter obeyed; and had not been out of the room two minutes, when all the bells in the house seemed to have been set in motion, and the servants began to run to and fro about the lobbies, as if they had all been under the influence of the laughing gas.
Thinks I to myself, the card has had a good effect: and I thought rightly; for in a moment the door of our apartment opened, and the most polite and powdered valet imaginable bowed himself into our presence, to inform us that Mr. **** would wait upon us immediately. Scarcely had he bowed himself out again, when Mr. **** himself, the very man I had singled out the night before, entered.
His demeanour was now completely changed, and his air subdued; the fire of his insolence had burnt out, and a placid ray of the purest sunshine of good humour beamed from his gentlemanly countenance. The very honey of politeness was on his tongue, as he uttered the introductory words, “General, I hope I have not kept you waiting?” By the bye, my importance was not a little swelled on hearing the rank of my friend; yet my gratitude, I felt, swelled higher; for, in proportion to the rank I found him to hold, I felt my sense of his kindness[2] increase.
The General, when all the parties were seated, carelessly threw his right leg across his left knee, and thus addressed Mr. ****. “I have called upon you, Sir, not officially, but as a private individual, in which light I request to be received; and my object in calling, is to demand a satisfactory adjustment of an affair which occurred yesterday evening in the Green Park, in which you took a very prominent part. This is the gentleman, whose feelings you and your companions trifled with so freely on that occasion. Like yourself, he is an officer in the service, and entitled to its privileges and the support of its members. I was an eye-witness of the scene; and, during the many years I have been in the army, I never saw a more wanton insult passed by one officer upon another, than was inflicted upon this unoffending young gentleman last night by you and your party. I am an old officer, Mr. ****, and would wish to prevent quarrelling as much as possible; but in this case an ample apology must be made to this young officer, or he must have another kind of satisfaction.”
At the conclusion of this address, my opponent put on the most engaging smile; and, offering his opened gold snuff-box to the General, replied, as nearly as I can recollect, in the following words:—“I assure you, General, we had been swallowing ‘the enemy’ last night pretty freely, and as freely did he ‘steal away our brains,’ as our immortal Shakspeare says. We were perfectly ambrosial, General—three bottles a man, exclusive of Champagne; and, 'pon my honour, I have but a very faint recollection of what occurred between your friend and us. However, I-a-rather suspect we were rude; but quite unintentionally so, I assure you, General,—had not the slightest idea of any thing in the world but good-humour. Sir, (addressing himself to me,) I beg you will accept my apology. You must, my dear Sir, give me your hand: you shall dine with us to-day,—you must indeed,—six precisely. We take no excuse.”
There was such an air of frank good-nature in this apology, that both the General and myself were highly pleased, and about to express ourselves to that effect, when Mr. **** ran out of the room, calling out “Sir John!”—“Captain Jackson!”—“Williams!”—“Smith!”—and God knows how many names more; and in a moment returned with the identical posse that had attacked me the evening before, each of whom were introduced to us by Mr. ****, and apologized to me as he had done,—a circumstance which appeared to please the General as much as it delighted me.
Thus ended all unpleasant feelings on the matter; and we sat together for about an hour, during which time the General gave us his opinions on the laws of honour, commenting on the impropriety of their violation by officers in the army in particular. Indeed, by what fell from his lips, on that morning, as well as by his conduct in my affair, I am convinced that he was a highly prudent man, who was brave but inoffensive. Had the business been taken up by a hot-headed fire-eating subaltern or Captain, who possessed but a smattering of the laws of honour, I am convinced that a duel must have been the consequence; but instead of taking a “message,” or directing me to send one, the General first sought an explanation, knowing that the offenders did not believe, from the oddity of my appearance, that I was what I wished to be considered; and that it was only necessary to make them sensible of their error, to end the matter satisfactorily.
We separated: the General went to Bath, and I returned to my hotel in St. Martin's Lane. I declined the invitation to dinner which I had received from my apologizing friends; but we nevertheless continued thenceforward on very good terms.
The first thing that greeted my eyes, when I re-entered my hotel, was my suit of regimentals, which the tailor had just laid down at full length upon the table. Never did I behold so beautiful—so ravishing a sight! The coat like silk—scarlet silk; the pantaloons blue as the sky—ethereal blue; the epaulette and lace as bright as the sun—or twenty suns! Price! what was the price to me? I paid the tailor, directly, a part and portion of the price of the suit; he was only waiting (as he said) to fit the articles on; but (as I now think) to receive the amount of his bill—as every prudent tailor ought in such cases to do. However, I cared not about matters of pounds, shillings, and pence: my ideas were upon the intellectual enjoyments of my ensigncy—the glory of my new rank; and tailors or tailors' bills were of no consideration, except as mere mechanical instruments to raise me to my then state of mental elevation. I now only wanted the cocked hat, feather, sash, boots, gloves, sword, and sword-belt, which to procure I knew must absorb at least an hour, or perhaps two, of my valuable time. I therefore requested the tailor (having first paid his bill) to send them to me, which he most willingly promised to do: and he kept his word; for in ten minutes I was in possession of the articles, for which also he was paid. Another ten minutes passed, and I was “armed cap-à-pie,” elegantly fitted—a perfect prodigy of beauty—in my own accommodating imagination!