Ensign Simple. I see you are all leagued against me, because I don’t squander my money amongst you; but I’ll have satisfaction—that I’m resolved on.
(Ensign Luby, inattentive to the last observation, mounts the donkey and rides him round the mess-table, while Buckskin gives a tremendous view halloo! During the uproar, the Major-commanding enters with his servant, frothing at the mouth with passion.
Major. Turn that donkey out directly. What can all this mean? Mr. Short, I am surprised that you, who have been a member of a regimental mess, should join in such disgraceful proceedings. Who brought this animal here?
Several Voices. Mr. Simple.
Major. Then, Mr. Simple, go to your room. Consider yourself in arrest.
Ensign Simple. I am not to blame, Major.
Major. Go to your room, Sir. I’ll not hear a word to-night; your conduct is disgraceful.
Ensign Simple. I am not the person.
Major. You brought the ass into the mess-room, Sir.
Ensign Simple. I found him in my bed, Sir, and covered with my bed-clothes: it is impossible that I can sleep in my room to-night, from the horrid state in which the animal has left it.