By filling in any ordinary words to make a kind of grammatical sense of the above (though that is not absolutely necessary), an excellent Conciliation Hall speech, or a Monster Meeting harangue, inculcating peace, quiet, and content, in the true Irish incendiary fashion, may be produced during any month of the year, but if it is in the depth of the winter, the effect, of course, is considerably stronger.—N.B. Patriots' materials made up in the same way on the shortest notice.
SWEET ARE THE USES OF TEARS.
A German chemist has discovered this year that there is sugar in tears. We have been told by poets that there is "sweetness in all things," but we little thought that it lurked in the corner of every squint. We always thought that crying was a sign rather of a sour disposition, but according to this new discovery it would seem that the more a lady cries the more her temper is sweetened by it. By-the-bye, hysterics must be invaluable to a cook on board wages who has to find her own sugar! What a lump of sweetness, too, Niobe must have been,—for she was "all tears." To a grocer of the present day she would have been invaluable, for she would have supplied him all the year round with "the very best moist."
COPY-BOOK TEXTS FOR YOUNG AUTHORS JUST
BEGINNING TO WRITE.
Far-fetched puns corrupt good jokes.
Hate a Scotticism as you would a Printer's Devil.
Beware of Irish mad bulls.
There's many a slip between the MS. and the tip.
Whatever is, don't write.
One purchaser is worth a dozen pressmen.