An extraordinary flight of Lady Birds distinguished the annals of Margate and Ramsgate last year. They covered the coast for miles, extending all the way to Herne Bay, and even as far as Gravesend. They are supposed to have been brought from London, as the decks of the steamers were completely strewed with them. The piers at all the watering-places, the hotels, the tea-gardens, the shrimp-parlours, were immediately occupied, and it was a matter of difficulty, soon after their arrival, to find a single bed empty. The inhabitants foolishly imagine that these Lady Birds commit a deal of injury, and they do everything they can to drive them away from the place. They lay traps in the windows to catch them, consisting of a piece of pasteboard, on which is inscribed a charm, of two simple words, "TO LET;" or sometimes it is only one word, as "tOLeTt." Directly the Lady Bird sees this, she knocks at the door, and flies into the house; but when once she is inside, she is subject to all the little persecutions which, since the sea-side was discovered, have been showered upon the poor race of Lady Birds. She is teased out of her life; she is not allowed to eat anything in comfort; her meals are taken away from her; till at last her whole enjoyment is poisoned, and she is glad to wing her way back again to London. Naturalists, however, have proved that the Lady Birds do incalculable good to every spot where they settle. Broadstairs has been built by their pretty exertions. Erith has been raised by them out of the sand; and Rosherville would never have been dug out of a chalk-pit if it had not been for the swarms of Lady Birds! It is true they buzz terribly, and make a great noise whenever more than two of them appear together; but this defect is more than counterbalanced by their gay colours, which resemble the richest silks and satins; and their dazzling appearance, which sparkles with all the force of diamonds when viewed by candle-light. Nothing prettier than to watch an assembly of them in the evening. They crowd at the libraries; they fill the ball-rooms, where they mimic the movements of the waltz; they throng Tivoli and St. Peter's, where the fireworks are not more brilliant than they; they sing, and dance, and laugh, and do everything like human creatures, but reason. And these are the poor little harmless creatures whom the inhabitants of the different watering-places delight in persecuting. Why, they carry gaiety and happiness wherever they appear; and as for hurting anybody, there is not a sting amongst a whole townful of them.
It is a fiction to suppose that the age of the Lady Bird can be told by the marks on her back. This provision on the part of nature would in fact be quite superfluous, for it is very curious that no Lady Bird at the sea-side is ever less than fourteen, or more than eighteen.
The Lady Bird visits the watering-places generally about June, and stops there till the winter. The first gale blows them back again to London, where they pass the foggy months in the various shops, theatres, and ball-rooms. When Tom Thumb was in town, an extraordinary flight of Lady Birds might be seen every day at the Egyptian Hall.
THE MARINE APHIS VASTATOR.
Very different to the Lady Bird is the Aphis Vastator, or commonly known as the Sea-side Lodging-house keeper. It is a most ravenous tribe, to be met with at all watering-places. It will eat through anything. It has consumed, before now, a week's provisions in a day. It is always seeking somebody to devour. These vastators, or rather devastators, live mostly on the poor Lady Birds, who suffer dreadfully from their depredations. A Lady Bird, who has taken a lodging in the morning, has repeatedly been eaten out of house and home before the evening, and been obliged to fly for safety. Nothing escapes the fangs of the Marine Lodging-house keeper. It will work its way into locked drawers, and runs through a tea-caddy with as much ease as if it had the key. It will clear a trunk in a day, and empty a work-box whilst the Lady Bird is taking a plunge in the sea. Its fangs are so constructed that they close directly on everything they touch; and their eyes are so sharp that they protrude into every letter and parcel that comes into the house. What they do not consume they hide; what they cannot hide they destroy or else give away; for the male Devastator is just as nimble as the female, though he is rarely seen. He comes the last thing at night, and is off the first thing in the morning; walking off probably—for he has very long legs—with a coat, or a pair of trousers that was found lying about in your portmanteau.
The Aphis has generally a large brood of little Aphises, which she rears in the back kitchen. They all partake of their mother's nature. They crawl about the house in search of stockings and frocks, and from their small size can creep almost into anything. Their appetites, too, are almost superhuman. They will lift the lid of a rump-steak pie, which has been left on the landing-place, and, in less time than you can drink a glass of wine, they will have abstracted every bit of meat out of it. If they settle on a leg of mutton they will not leave it before they have picked it clean to the bone. In fact, their skill in polishing a bone would fill you with wonder, if nothing else. They shrink from no pastry; and the largest tart does not appal them. Their powers of suction, too, are just as great. A bottle is no sooner put upon the table than it is empty; and if there were twenty bottles they would go through every one of them, and the stronger the contents the easier the absorbing process seems to be!
Evidence of the Marine Blight on a Leg of Mutton.
When the winter comes round the Aphis Devastator looks over her stores, and begins to count if her provisions will last her till the summer. Her coals are put away into the cellar; her wine and spirits are arranged in the different cupboards; her candles are measured out; and everything placed upon the save-all system. Woe to her young then, if she catches one of them lifting the lid of a pie, and helping himself to the solids or fluids within! The chances are she would eat him up on the spot. The husband's appetite, too, is put upon a reduced scale, and he is only allowed a glass of grog when there has been stuffing for dinner, or when another Aphis drops in. The voracity of the whole family is kept under during the winter, but then it breaks out with all the greater fury afterwards. The legs and shoulders of the first lodger of the season generally feel this pretty sharply. He has not a joint which, after the first day, he can call his own. A blight invariably follows; for whatever the Aphis Vastator touches is sure to go immediately.
It is difficult to describe the Aphises externally, for they take up so wonderfully quick the habits of each new lodger that they are always changing.