That the only pastry is plum-pudding; the only wine, ale or porter; the only fruit, baked potatoes; the only song, "God Save the Queen," and the only national amusement, boxing.
That no gentleman's establishment is complete without a bull-dog.
That the ladies propose to the gentlemen; that Gretna Green is an omni-bus-ride from London, and that half the marriages in England, those of Royalty and cooks included, are celebrated by The Blacksmith.
That commissions are purchasable in the police force, and that the sons of noblemen are proud to serve in it.
That the result of every dinner-party is for the gentlemen to drop, one by one, underneath the table, after which they are carried upstairs to the ladies.
That half the population is "milors," and the other half "millionaires."
That there is no English school of painting, excepting that practised by Clowns and Ethiopians.
That the Boy Jones is (if the truth was known) a member of the Royal Family.
That George the Fourth was in the habit of going to the Coal Hole.
That Watt stole his steam-engine from the French; and other absurdities by far too numerous to mention.