And now he sends her a nasty impudent letter, saying, carrots are things he cannot a-bear;
Though, as the poor fond dear said, she was ready to dye for his sake, the very moment she heard he didn't like nice warm auburn hair.
Mrs. Sniggles was called as witness. She objected to say how old she was. Might be forty—might be twenty. On her oath, she wasn't sixty. Would swear she wasn't fifty-nine. Was perfectly well aware of the consequences of perjury; and yet would persist in affirming that she had not reached her fifty-eighth year. Objected to answer any more questions as to age. (Objection allowed.) Knew plaintiff. Had called to see her, and found the poor thing fainting. She came to a little when the chemist's young man tickled her. Plaintiff hadn't eaten enough to lie on a fourpenny-piece ever since. Wouldn't swear to a fourpenny-piece.
At this point of the case, the forewoman of the jury stated to her Honour that their minds were perfectly made up as to the guilt of the prisoner: whereupon Mrs. Serjeant Blubag proceeded to put on the black cap. It was of crêpe noir, splendidly trimmed with artificial flowers of rosemary and rue, and had a very distingué and solemn effect. Her Honour dwelt for a considerable time on the wretched man's impudent expression of countenance, asking him in a most impressive manner where he expected he would go to, and concluded by sentencing him to marriage and hard labour for the remainder of his days, as hanging was too good for him.
The defendant was then removed in the custody of Mrs. Twentystone, the turnkey, and an old maiden lady of a serious turn of mind was immediately sent for, to prepare the man for his wretched doom.
A REGULAR POSER.
COCKNEY ENIGMAS.
No. 1.
(On the letter H.)
I dwells in the Herth, and I breathes in the Hair;