Had no time to make scientific experiments; but ascertained that the strength of alcohol is not diminished in any sensible degree by the extreme rarefaction of the air at great heights. I subjoin a telescopic view of mountain scenery, as it appeared through my double-barrelled lorgnette. N.B. I squint.
Having got up, prepared to go down again, an operation which was performed in a much quicker style than the other. Started down a slippery slope, and missing our footing, and not being able to stop ourselves, proceeded in this manner, down at least 2000 feet, before we were brought up by a ridge of rocks, composed of uncommonly hard granite, against which we rebounded like footballs. Up, however, and at it again. Came to another difficulty; found ourselves in a dreadful gully or ravine, with no sort of exit but a narrow cleft, down which poured a tremendous cataract, into an awful black and foaming pool 500 feet below. There was nothing for it but to fling ourselves into the torrent, allow ourselves to go over the waterfall, and take our chance in the cauldron—which we did, in the manner shown in cut. The exploit was quite dreadful, from the roar of the water, and the speed with which we were hurled through the air, and soused at least 100 fathoms (for I counted them) into the pool below, where, after we had reached the surface, we were whirled about for at least an hour and a quarter before we managed to emerge. Found the experience I had picked up in the Holborn swimming baths of little avail in descending this cataract, but was only too happy to escape at any price. The rest of the journey was comparatively easy, owing to a very happy thought of mine. Happening to see a roundish-shaped avalanche roll past, remembered the globe tricks in the circus, where Signor Sadustini kept his balance on a big wooden ball going down an inclined plane. Communicated the notion to guides, waited for the next avalanche, jumped on it as it passed, and went down like winking, always keeping our places upon the top of the ball, which gradually increased to such a size, that it carried off several châlets beneath us. But that, of course, we had nothing to do with; keeping our places as well as Sadustini himself, until the huge snowball came to a full stop in the midst of a pine forest, where we clambered out of the snow, and after several hours' hard walking, reached the village, where we were greeted by a deputation of the authorities, headed by the hotel-keeper holding my bill in his hand, who delivered an address of congratulation, and inquired when it would be convenient for me to settle. Postponing, however, considerations of business to those of festivity, a romantic rural fête was got up in honour of our return. The happy peasantry poured in from all sides, singing, "Come arouse us, arouse us, we merry Swiss boys." The notary had a table in the corner, which is always usual. The Seigneur du Village and his lady sat on a rustic throne. All the peasants had jerkins and breeches, and bright stockings, with lots of ribands, and all the peasantesses had short muslin petticoats and pink satin shoes. Choosing then, as a partner, the loveliest and the most virtuous—I was particular about the last—I opened the ball.
BLOOMERISM IN FULL BLOW.
The ladies are about to turn over a new leaf, a leaf in the matter of costume, unprecedented since the days of the fig leaf. Petticoats are to join hoops and farthingales; and long skirts, having long swept all before them, are now, in their turn, to be swept into the limbo of all the vanities.
Of course, now, breeches, trowsers, and all their synonymes, will no longer be forbidden words. The tribes of the "unmentionables" and the "unwhisperables" have had their day. We observe, however, that certain pretty modifications of the original terms are recommended, and we are told to choose between "Pantilettes and Pettiloons". But why not call the objects in question "trowser-ettos", or, if an Americanized phrase be thought appropriate, "limb envelopers" or "understanding swathers," might be advantageously adopted.
It is, of course, to be anticipated that the reformed costume will spread upwards, as well as downwards, in society; giving us an opportunity of reading, on the morrow of the first ensuing drawing-room day, that "Her ladyship wore a splendid pair of loud satin pants, of deep purple, with a double broad yellow stripe running down the leg, and new patent elastic straps, tastefully embroidered with gold." At the same time, as it is inherent in the nature of things, that pantaloons have to be kept up at the waist as well as down at the ankle, we shall expect to see advertised "The ne plus ultra ladies' braces," and the "Better than new plus ultra feminine suspenders."
One dreadful question remains unsolved: it looms upon us as we approach it, and the nerveless pen splutters in the nib. However, we will make the effort, and state the problem: Given—a horse, and a lady about to ride it. The lady is in Bloomer costume—the horse fully caparisoned for a lady in Bloomer costume. Query: Will the horse have two stirrups; one on the near side, the other on the off?