—Anticipations of the Golden Age! now coming; showing the probable style of a coster=monger when that "good time" is come!!
THE GOLD IN AUSTRALIA.
[Private and confidential letter from Mr. Jemmy Bullseye, Professional Burglar, M.S.M. (Member Swell Mob), P.P.P. (Professor Pocket Picking, &c.), T.C. (Transported Convict), to Ikey Moshes, Esq., R.S.G. (Receiver of Stolen Goods), F.R.F. (First-Rate Fence), Deadman's Court, Filch Street, Whitechapel.]
Bottiney Bay, 1 April.
My dear Moshes,
Giv us yer congraterlations old chap, for luck as turned at last. Thank evings I'm now a maid man, and a real transported conwict, and no mistake. Ha! ha! No more bissines—no more senter hits, nor kro bars, nor skillington keas, nor dips into pokkets with nuffin in 'em—nor puttin old ladis on the grate when 'ot, to make 'em tell vere the spoons is—no more rows with them ere Peelers, nor interwiews with the Beaks—nor no more pollis wans, nor Hold Baileys, nor Middlesects sesshuns, nor Surgeon Adamses, nor Recorders, nor Ballantines nor Clarksons. As I said afore, in one wurd, no more bissines. I'm a-coming out in the respictable line, and I'm a-goin to keep a gigg. I've made my lucky, and I can afford to pass the remaneder of my days a-doin' nuffin but enjoying on myself.
In two wurds, Ikey, I've maid my fortin. I've 5 portmanties chok full of gold. How you'd like a grab at 'em, eh? The rigglar stuff; shinin' like sufferings, and worth never so much more, bekase more purer, and no allhoy. You remember the littel Jobb for which I got into trubbel—the plate down Hackney way, which we didn't find out to be Britania Mettle till jist as it was in the meltin' pott, and the pollis had me by the choler. Well, I staid in Pentonwill too ears, and then we kum out here, a hole ship lod on us, rigglar outanouters as ever stood in a dok, and then they set us to make rods, and me and Bil Smuth, and Jerry Gibbs—him as knocked the old lady on the 'ead for pleasure, arter the bissines was over, and the swag sekured—and half-a-dozen more, was all tyed to one chane, with a lot o' sogers ready to shoot us if we layed doun our piks or spaids for a minit. But let me tell yer, as things 'as turned out, the praktise was kapital, for suddenly one mornin' there kame word, that about a dosen of miles from us, there was a bed, a rigglar bed of gold made up in the earth, and that noboddy had anythink to do but to stupe down and pik hup the peaces. By gom, Ikey, when the sogers heard this, off they cut, and set to work at the golden sand with their baggynets, and, as you may be sure, also off we kut arter them; and there we wos, the hole wak of us, konwicts and no konwicts, pickin' up the yaller metal like 1 o'clock, and mindin' nuffin else. And now we found out the hadvantage of our rod makin praktise, for, for every ounse of gold the rest piked up, we got a £. So we soon had the chane off, and, in less nor 6 wheeks I had for my share at least 50,000 lbs. worth—which, by-the-by, I am grieved to say, that disonest skoundrel, Bil Smuth, tryed to pilpher from, but a dig from the pik axe settled his ash, as so it did Jerry Gibbs's, whose and I found in my pokkits—the unprinsipaled thif, who had no more respect for reallysed property than nothink at all. And so, to make a long storey short, here I am, a-goin' to sale for Urope by the next ship with all my gold, and quite sartin of being reseaved accordin to my merrits, as weyed by the hevvyness of my Koffers.
I have hardly maid up my plans yet, but I think I'll by an andsome ouse somewere near Tyburnia—I like the name; and I'll call it either "Burglary Lodge," or "Felony Villa," or "The Fence," and I'll furnish part on it quite slap-up like the nobses; and part on it like Newgate, and part like Pentonwille, and part like the Pennytenshiary, just to keep hup a scentimental rememberance of the old Times. I'll get a Kot o' arms too. The Herralds' Offis will soon find that for me, but there must be a dark lantern in it, and a skillington kea, and for a mottar, "Sucksess to Swindlin," in a dead langwidge, which is more genteeler nor a livin one. In course I'll have an ouse-warming, when I'll ask the Rekordor of the sitty of London, and the Kommon Surgeon, and Surgeon Adams of the Middlesects, and the Kommishners of Pollis, and Dannal Wittles Arvey. I should think they'd come. I don't bear no mallis, and I'll give 'em good wittles. "Sirkmstances is altared, my Lords," I'll say after dinner, when I'm a-standing with a glass of champagn in my 'and, "And I forgive you for having sent me out to Bottiney Bay, konsidering wot's come of it, and if any of you would like to try your luck akross the water, I'll give you a letter to a hold pal of mine that worked on the same chane as me for five ears, and he'll put you hup to the time o' day if anybody will." I shood think, Ikey, as that would be a 'andsome way of doing the thing, and letting bygons be bygons. I wudn't be surprised arter that if they made me a Middlesects magistrate, or a visitin Justass, or summut o' that kind, and when I goes to a Pollis offis just for old assossiashun's sake, you'll read in the papers how the Honorable Genlmn was akkomodated with a seat on the bench beside the worthy maggistrate, Ha! ha! Ikey, the gold will do it al. I wouldn't be surprised if I get a testymonial, or if there be a subskription to raise a monyment to me—or a lot of amsouses for dekayed prigs, to be called "Bullseye Amsouses," with the names of the churchwardens of the Parritch karved over the entrance door. In course I'll keep a carridge, which is more convenient than a wan with V. R. painted on the side; and I'll have the deerest pue in the most fash'nable chapple—Parritch churches is low—and I'll shubscribe to the societies for the purtection of property and the shuppression of voice. Its wot is looked for in men in a sartin position.
Sutch then, Ikey, are my present plans. I wud ask you to my ouse warming but fear you mite not like to meet some of the Gents allooded to, you being still in the old line of bisiness, and not unkimmon well of. Howsoever, we'll have a quiet tawk when we meet, over a glas of grogg and a pype.