TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS.-The thinnings of a rough young Birch Wood are on Sale. Also a cargo of Bamboos, just arrived from the Mauritius. Tawse of superior Leather, with the ends of the tails carefully burnt, are also constantly on Sale. Apply at Floggum Hall, Clapham.
TO THOSE AFFLICTED WITH DEAFNESS.—The Advertisers offers comfortable Board and Lodging to Ladies and Gentlemen suffering as above, in his own private family circle. The great advantage to be found in the arrangement will be, that neither he, his wife, his eight daughters, or his seven sons, ever say, or can be expected to say, anything.
Worth hearing—Address to the Office of this Newspaper.
FRENCH IN A QUARTER OF AN HOUR, AND GERMAN IN TWENTY MINUTES.—Cram's NEW Method. "Do you understand French?" "I understand it, but do not speak it." How often do we hear this reply. Professor Cram assures his Friends and intending Pupils that in fifteen minutes he will make them speak French as perfectly as they understand it.
OUR OWN PRESIDENT OF FRANCE.
The shadow of a coming event has fallen upon the opposite page and stayed there. It represents the triumphal entry into Paris of M. Jullien, chosen as President of the Republic, Leader of its Armies, Composer of its strifes, Conductor of its Bands, and in general, National First Fiddle.
The French having tried all manner of governments and all classes of rulers, and not liking any of them, will naturally, in their pursuit of harmony, turn to one of its most celebrated professors. M. Jullien, on the 1st of April, will issue two public manifestoes, expressive of his political creed:—"The Universal Suffrage Polka, with ballot-box and kettledrum accompaniment;" and "The Liberté, Egalité, et Fraternité Quadrilles," in which all the second and third fiddles will play the first parts, the piccolos will produce the sound of ophicleides, and any instrument will be at liberty to play anything it pleases; all this in token of the equalization of society, and the freedom of action to be accorded under the new régime. The time in which this Quadrille will be arranged is the Good Time Coming, which may be reckoned a very slow movement, seeing how long it takes to arrive.
These magnificent political morceaux having been duly considered by the people of France, whistled by all the boys, and danced to at all the casinos—the cry of "Jullien for President" will become all but universal. The Elysée will be frantic, the Orleanists furious, and the Legitimists in despair. Louis Napoleon's friends will meditate a coup d'état, for the purpose of securing all the silver plate in France; but which will be defeated by the counter operations of a conspiracy for the abolition of taxes, and for giving every Frenchman, above the age of twenty-one and untainted by crime, a salary of 5000 francs per annum, to be paid quarterly by the government. In the midst of these conflicting movements of party, the grand day of election will take place, and the following will be the state of the poll:—