The Members of a "Crack" Regiment will behave in a Gallant and Dashing Manner.
MAY.
The Derby.—Our own Prophecy.
After the announcement of our prophetic intentions, the most thrilling anxiety will doubtless exist in the sporting world, to know what we have to say on this important subject. To oblige so large and so respectable a class of our readers, we have given it our closest attention.
The only matter of any importance connected with the Derby, we decline saying anything about at all, is the name of the winner. This comparatively slight reservation is made solely from a disinclination to interfere with vested interests.
On the great day, Members of Parliament will insist upon a holiday, claiming it as their right as Britons. The Right Honourable Mr. Disraeli will remark that it is all Race.
The members of a crack regiment will amuse themselves on their return from Epsom, by throwing brickbats, vitriol, &c. at the foot passengers. The blame will be laid on a respectable stockbroker, who will be imprisoned for the offence, the military gentlemen proving an alibi. A weak-minded young ensign of the party having expressed some regret that the innocent should suffer, and hinted that the real offenders ought to give themselves up like men—will be cashiered, with a severe reprimand from the commanding officer, for his want of esprit de corps and true gentlemanly feeling.
Several shop tills and betting-office stools will be found vacant on settling day.
Turf Maxim.—Never look a gift horse in the mouth without taking care of your fingers.
A New Picture will be purchased by the Trustees of the National Gallery for £40,000, and will attract Great Attention.