“He was eating the stem of an artichoke as this discourse went on, and, in the little peevish contentions between hunger and unsavouriness, had dropped it out of his mouth half a dozen times, and had picked it up again. ‘God help thee, Jack!’ said I, ‘thou hast a bitter breakfast on't—and many a bitter day's labour, and many a bitter blow, I fear, for its wages! 'Tis all, all bitterness to thee—whatever life is to others! And now thy mouth, if one knew the truth of it, is as bitter. I dare say, as soot’ (for [pg 669] he had cast aside the stem), ‘and thou hast not a friend perhaps in all this world that will give thee a macaroon.’ In saying this, I pulled out a paper of 'em, which I had just bought, and gave him one;—and, at this moment that I am telling it, my heart smites me that there was more of pleasantry in the conceit of seeing how an ass would eat a macaroon than of benevolence in giving him one, which presided in the act.
“When the ass had eaten his macaroon, I pressed him to come in. The poor beast was heavy loaded—his legs seemed to tremble under him—he hung rather backward, and, as I pulled at his halter, it broke in my hand. He looked up pensive in my face: ‘Don't thrash me with it: but if you will you may.’ ‘If I do,’ said I, ‘I'll be d——.’ ”
A critic who refuses to see in this charming description wit, humour, pathos, a kind nature speaking, and a real sentiment, must be hard indeed to move and to please. A page or two farther we come to a description not less beautiful—a landscape and figures, deliciously painted by one who had the keenest enjoyment and the most tremulous sensibility:—
“'Twas in the road between Nismes and Lunel, where is the best Muscatto wine in all France: the sun was set, they had done their work; the nymphs had tied up their hair afresh, and the swains were preparing for a carousal. My mule made a dead point. ‘'Tis the pipe and tambourine,’ said I—‘I never will argue a point with one of your family as long as I live;’ so leaping off his back, and kicking off one boot into this ditch and t'other into that, ‘I'll take a dance,’ said I, ‘so stay you here.’
“A sunburnt daughter of labour rose up from the group to meet me as I advanced towards them; her hair, which was of a dark chestnut approaching to a black, was tied up in a knot, all but a single tress.
“ ‘We want a cavalier,’ said she, holding out both her hands, as if to offer them. ‘And a cavalier you shall have,’ said I, taking hold of both of them. ‘We could not have done without you,’ said she, letting go one hand, with self-taught politeness, and leading me up with the other.
“A lame youth, whom Apollo had recompensed with a pipe, and to which he had added a tambourine of his [pg 670] own accord, ran sweetly over the prelude, as he sat upon the bank. ‘Tie me up this tress instantly,’ said Nannette, putting a piece of string into my hand. It taught me to forget I was a stranger. The whole knot fell down—we had been seven years acquainted. The youth struck the note upon the tambourine, his pipe followed, and off we bounded.
“The sister of the youth—who had stolen her voice from Heaven—sang alternately with her brother. 'Twas a Gascoigne roundelay. ‘Viva la joia, fidon la tristessa!’—the nymphs joined in unison, and their swains an octave below them.
“Viva la joia was in Nannette's lips, viva la joia in her eyes. A transient spark of amity shot across the space betwixt us. She looked amiable. Why could I not live and end my days thus? ‘Just Disposer of our joys and sorrows!’ cried I, ‘why could not a man sit down in the lap of content here, and dance, and sing, and say his prayers, and go to heaven with this nut-brown maid?’ Capriciously did she bend her head on one side, and dance up insidious. ‘Then 'tis time to dance off,’ quoth I.”
And with this pretty dance and chorus, the volume artfully concludes. Even here one can't give the whole description. There is not a page in Sterne's writing but has something that were better away, a latent corruption—a hint, as of an impure presence.[170]