“I am talking of concealed property, Ma'am,” says I sternly.
“And do you—what—can you—do you really suppose that I have concealed—any of that blessed sa-a-a-aint's prop-op-op-operty?” screams out mamma. “Robert,” says she—“Bob, my own darling boy—my fondest, best beloved, now HE is gone” (meaning my late governor—more tears)—“you don't, you cannot fancy that your own mother, who bore you, and nursed you, and wept for you, and would give her all to save you from a moment's harm—you don't suppose that she would che-e-e-eat you!” And here she gave a louder screech than ever, and flung back on the sofa; and one of my sisters went and tumbled into her arms, and t'other went round, and the kissing and slobbering scene went on again, only I was left out, thank goodness. I hate such sentimentality.
“CHE-E-E-EAT ME,” says I, mocking her. “What do you mean, then, by saying you're so rich? Say, have you got money, or have you not?” (And I rapped out a good number of oaths, too, which I don't put in here; but I was in a dreadful fury, that's the fact.)
“So help me heaven,” says mamma, in answer, going down on her knees and smacking her two hands, “I have but a Queen Anne's guinea in the whole of this wicked world.”
“Then what, Madam, induces you to tell these absurd stories to me, and to talk about your riches, when you know that you and your daughters are beggars, Ma'am—BEGGARS?”
“My dearest boy, have we not got the house, and the furniture, and a hundred a year still; and have you not great talents, which will make all our fortunes?” says Mrs. Stubbs, getting up off her knees, and making believe to smile as she clawed hold of my hand and kissed it.
This was TOO cool. “YOU have got a hundred a year, Ma'am,” says I—“YOU have got a house? Upon my soul and honor this is the first I ever heard of it; and I'll tell you what, Ma'am,” says I (and it cut her PRETTY SHARPLY too): “as you've got it, YOU'D BETTER GO AND LIVE IN IT. I've got quite enough to do with my own house, and every penny of my own income.”
Upon this speech the old lady said nothing, but she gave a screech loud enough to be heard from here to York, and down she fell—kicking and struggling in a regular fit.
I did not see Mrs. Stubbs for some days after this, and the girls used to come down to meals, and never speak; going up again and stopping with their mother. At last, one day, both of them came in very solemn to my study, and Eliza, the eldest, said, “Robert, mamma has paid you our board up to Michaelmas.”