No man would have thought there was anythink in such a trifling cirkumstance; master did, though, and pounced upon it like a cock on a barlycorn.
He sent me out to Mr. Morell's in Pickledilly, for wot's called a Strasbug-pie—in French, a “patty defau graw.” He takes a card, and nails it on the outside case (patty defaw graws come generally in a round wooden box, like a drumb); and what do you think he writes on it? why, as follos:—“For the Honorable Algernon Percy Deuceace, &c. &c. &c. With Prince Talleyrand's compliments.”
Prince Tallyram's complimints, indeed! I laff when I think of it, still, the old surpint! He WAS a surpint, that Deuceace, and no mistake.
Well, by a most extrornary piece of ill-luck, the nex day punctially as Mr. Dawkinses brexfas was coming UP the stairs, Mr. Halgernon Percy Deuceace was going DOWN. He was as gay as a lark, humming an Oppra tune, and twizzting round his head his hevy gold-headed cane. Down he went very fast, and by a most unlucky axdent struck his cane against the waiter's tray, and away went Mr. Dawkinses gril, kayann, kitchup, soda-water and all! I can't think how my master should have choas such an exact time; to be sure, his windo looked upon the court, and he could see every one who came into our door.
As soon as the axdent had took place, master was in such a rage as, to be sure, no man ever was in befor; he swoar at the waiter in the most dreddfle way; he threatened him with his stick, and it was only when he see that the waiter was rayther a bigger man than hisself that he was in the least pazzyfied. He returned to his own chambres; and John, the waiter, went off for more gril to Dixes Coffy-house.
“This is a most unlucky axdent, to be sure, Charles,” says master to me, after a few minits paws, during witch he had been and wrote a note, put it into an anvelope, and sealed it with his big seal of arms. “But stay—a thought strikes me—take this note to Mr. Dawkins, and that pye you brought yesterday; and hearkye, you scoundrel, if you say where you got it I will break every bone in your skin!”
These kind of promises were among the few which I knew him to keep: and as I loved boath my skinn and my boans, I carried the noat, and of cors said nothink. Waiting in Mr. Dawkinses chambus for a few minnits, I returned to my master with an anser. I may as well give both of these documence, of which I happen to have taken coppies:
I.
THE HON. A. P. DEUCEACE TO T. S. DAWKINS, ESQ.
“TEMPLE, Tuesday.
“Mr. DEUCEACE presents his compliments to Mr. Dawkins, and begs at
the same time to offer his most sincere apologies and regrets for
the accident which has just taken place.
“May Mr. Deuceace be allowed to take a neighbor's privilege, and to
remedy the evil he has occasioned to the best of his power if Mr.
Dawkins will do him the favor to partake of the contents of the
accompanying case (from Strasbourg direct, and the gift of a
friend, on whose taste as a gourmand Mr. Dawkins may rely), perhaps
he will find that it is not a bad substitute for the plat which Mr.
Deuceace's awkwardness destroyed.
“It will also, Mr. Deuceace is sure, be no small gratification to
the original donor of the 'pate', when he learns that it has fallen
into the hands of so celebrated a bon vivant as Mr. Dawkins.
“T. S. DAWKINS, Esq., &c. &c. &c.”
II.
FROM T. S. DAWKINS, ESQ., TO THE HON. A. P. DEUCEACE.
“MR. THOMAS SMITH DAWKINS presents his grateful compliments to the
Hon. Mr. Deuceace, and accepts with the greatest pleasure Mr.
Deuceace's generous proffer.
“It would be one of the HAPPIEST MOMENTS of Mr. Smith Dawkins's
life, if the Hon. Mr. Deuceace would EXTEND HIS GENEROSITY still
further, and condescend to partake of the repast which his
MUNIFICENT POLITENESS has furnished.
“TEMPLE, Tuesday.”
Many and many a time, I say, have I grin'd over these letters, which I had wrote from the original by Mr. Bruffy's copyin clark. Deuceace's flam about Prince Tallyram was puffickly successful. I saw young Dawkins blush with delite as he red the note; he toar up for or five sheets before he composed the answer to it, which was as you red abuff, and roat in a hand quite trembling with pleasyer. If you could but have seen the look of triumph in Deuceace's wicked black eyes, when he read the noat! I never see a deamin yet, but I can phansy 1, a holding a writhing soal on his pitchfrock, and smilin like Deuceace. He dressed himself in his very best clothes, and in he went, after sending me over to say that he would except with pleasyour Mr. Dawkins's invite.