“The letter is—ahem—gone,” says Laura. “What do you want from Brussels, Pen?”
“I want some Brussels sprouts, my love—they are so fine in their native country.”
“Shall I write to him to send the letter back?” palpitates poor little Laura; for she thought her husband was offended, by using the ironic method.
“No, you dear little woman! You need not send for letter the back: and you need not tell me what was in it: and I will bet you a hundred yards of lace to a cotton nightcap—and you know whether I, madam, am a man à bonnet-de-coton—I will let you that I know what you have been writing about, under pretence of a message about lace, to our Colonel.”
“He promised to send it me. He really did. Lady Rockminster gave me twenty pounds——” gasps Laura.
“Under pretence of lace, you have been sending over a love-message. You want to see whether Clive is still of his old mind. You think the coast is now clear, and that dearest Ethel may like him. You think Mrs. Mason is growing very old and infirm, and the sight of her dear boy would——”
“Pen! Pen! did you open my letter?” cries Laura; and a laugh which could afford to be good-humoured (followed by yet another expression of the lips) ended this colloquy. No; Mr Pendennis did not see the letter—but he knew the writer;—flattered himself that he knew women in general.
“Where did you get your experience of them, sir?” asks Mrs. Laura. Question answered in the same manner as the previous demand.
“Well, my dear; and why should not the poor boy be made happy?” Laura continues, standing very close up to her husband. “It is evident to me that Ethel is fond of him. I would rather see her married to a good young man whom she loves, than the mistress of a thousand palaces and coronets. Suppose—suppose you had married Miss Amory, sir, what a wretched worldly creature you would have been by this time; whereas now——”
“Now that I am the humble slave of a good woman there is some chance for me,” cries this model of husbands. “And all good women are match-makers, as we know very well; and you have had this match in your heart ever since you saw the two young people together. Now; madam, since I did not see your letter to the Colonel—though I have guessed part of it—tell me, what have you said in it? Have you by any chance told the Colonel that the Farintosh alliance was broken off?”