“Oh, indeed. Mrs. Pendennis corresponds with her?” says our host, darkling under his eyebrows; and, at this moment, my neighbour, F. B., is kind enough to scrunch my foot under the table with the weight of his heel, as much as to warn me, by an appeal to my own corns, to avoid treading on so delicate a subject in that house. “Yes,” said I, in spite, perhaps in consequence, of this interruption. “My wife does correspond with Miss Ethel, who is a noble creature, and whom those who know her know how to love and admire. She is very much changed since you knew her, Colonel Newcome; since the misfortunes in Sir Barnes’s family, and the differences between you and him. Very much changed and very much improved. Ask my wife about her, who knows her most intimately, and hears from her constantly.”
“Very likely, very likely,” cried the Colonel, hurriedly, “I hope she is improved, with all my heart. I am sure there was room for it. Gentlemen, shall we go up to the ladies and have some coffee?” And herewith the colloquy ended, and the party ascended to the drawing-room.
The party ascended to the drawing-room, where no doubt both the ladies were pleased by the invasion which ended their talk. My wife and the Colonel talked apart, and I saw the latter looking gloomy, and the former pleading very eagerly, and using a great deal of action, as the little hands are wont to do, when the mistress’s heart is very much moved. I was sure she was pleading Ethel’s cause with her uncle.
So indeed she was. And Mr. George, too, knew what her thoughts were. “Look at her!” he said to me. “Don’t you see what she is doing? She believes in that girl whom you all said Clive took a fancy to before he married his present little placid wife; a nice little simple creature, who is worth a dozen Ethels.”
“Simple certainly,” says Mr. P., with a shrug of the shoulders.
“A simpleton of twenty is better than a roue of twenty. It is better not to have thought at all, than to have thought such things as must go through a girl’s mind whose life is passed in jilting and being jilted; whose eyes, as soon as they are opened, are turned to the main chance, and are taught to leer at earl, to languish at a marquis, and to grow blind before a commoner. I don’t know much about fashionable life. Heaven help us (you young Brummell! I see the reproach in your face!) Why, sir, it absolutely appears to me as if this little hop-o’-my-thumb of a creature has begun to give herself airs since her marriage and her carriage. Do you know, I rather thought she patronised me? Are all women spoiled by their contact with the world, and their bloom rubbed off in the market? I know one who seems to me to remain pure! to be sure, I only know her, and this little person, and Mrs. Flanagan our laundress, and my sisters at home, who don’t count. But that Miss Newcome to whom once you introduced me? Oh, the cockatrice! only that poison don’t affect your wife, the other would kill her. I hope the Colonel will not believe a word which Laura says.” And my wife’s tête-à-tête with our host coming to an end about this time, Mr. Warrington in high spirits goes up to the ladies, recapitulates the news of Barnes’s lecture, recites “How doth the little busy bee,” and gives a quasi-satirical comment upon that well-known poem, which bewilders Mrs. Clive, until, set on by the laughter of the rest of the audience, she laughs very freely at that odd man, and calls him “you droll satirical creature you!” and says “she never was so much amused in her life. Were you, Mrs. Pendennis?”
Meanwhile Clive, who has been sitting apart moodily biting his nails, not listening to F. B.’s remarks, has broken into a laugh once or twice, and gone to a writing-book, on which, whilst George is still disserting, Clive is drawing.
At the end of the other’s speech, F. B. goes up to the draughtsman, looks over his shoulder, makes one or two violent efforts as of inward convulsion, and finally explodes in an enormous guffaw. “It’s capital! By Jove, it’s capital! Sir Barnes would never dare to face his constituents with that picture of him hung up in Newcome!”
And F. B. holds up the drawing, at which we all laugh except Laura. As for the Colonel, he paces up and down the room, holding the sketch close to his eyes, holding it away from him, patting it, clapping his son delightedly on the shoulder. “Capital! capital! We’ll have the picture printed, by Jove, sir; show vice its own image; and shame the viper in his own nest, sir. That’s what we will.”
Mrs. Pendennis came away with rather a heavy heart from this party. She chose to interest herself about the right or wrong of her friends; and her mind was disturbed by the Colonel’s vindictive spirit. On the subsequent day we had occasion to visit our friend J. J. (who was completing the sweetest little picture, No. 263 in the Exhibition, “Portrait of a Lady and Child”), and we found that Clive had been with the painter that morning likewise; and that J. J. was acquainted with his scheme. That he did not approve of it we could read in the artist’s grave countenance. “Nor does Clive approve of it either!” cried Ridley, with greater eagerness than he usually displayed, and more openness than he was accustomed to exhibit in judging unfavourably of his friends.