“Why, I went home, and she asked if it was me. I told her it was. Took the chances on that, you know. Then she asked me if I’d been drinking. I told her no. And there I stopped. Never said another word.”
“But you say she caught on somewhere. How was it?”
“Just a blunder I made. When I told her I hadn’t drank anything she was satisfied, but when I come to go to bed, I put on my overcoat instead of my night-shirt. That excited suspicion.”
DISGUSTING GREED.
Fitznoodle is an Austin nimrod who goes out every Sunday and brings in a jack-rabbit or so. Fitznoodle is an enormous eater, and nobody else gets much of a taste of the rabbit.
“I wonder why nobody gets any of the shot except me,” said Fitznoodle, taking a shot out of his mouth.
Because nobody else gets any of the rabbit, I suppose,” responded Mrs. Fitznoodle, with telling sarcasm.
SAMUEL W. SMALL.
The humorous writings in the Atlanta (Georgia) Constitution have made that paper famous. It has been quoted, perhaps, as much as any other daily newspaper in this country. Among those bright journalists employed upon its editorial staff, none have added more to the popularity of the Constitution than Samuel W. Small, better known to his admirers as “Old Si.”