By Adolph Sutro.
Conduct is three-fourths of life.—Matthew Arnold.
Character makes the man; character and politeness mark the perfect man. The first is the diamond in the rough; the second the cut stone. The former may attract the attention of a few, the latter discloses hidden beauties and compels the admiration of all.
The “grand old name of gentleman” can only belong to him who unites the qualities of gentleness and manliness, and politeness is essentially gentleness.
The exercise of politeness benefits all, chiefly him who practises it, and this is a sure road to success.
CHAPTER II
Be Polite.
William of Wickham, Bishop of Winchester, and founder of Winchester and of New College, Oxford, was so convinced of the value of manners that he had the phrase “Manners Make a Man,” inscribed in several places upon the walls of those structures. “Good manners,” said Emerson, “are made up of petty sacrifices.” Pleasant expression and action, pleasing exterior and true kindness are gentle delights which win the esteem of others and often contribute to one’s advancement more than real merit. Coarseness and gruffness, loose habits and “don’t-care” manners, never fail to lock doors and close hearts. “You had better,” wrote Chesterfield to his son, “return a dropped fan genteelly, than give a thousand pounds awkwardly; better refuse a favor gracefully than grant it clumsily. All your Greek can never advance you from secretary to envoy, or from envoy to ambassador; but your address, your air, your manners, if good, may.” These will give, as Emerson says, “The mastery of palaces and fortunes wherever one goes without the trouble of earning or owning them.”
Cultivation of politeness is like putting the finishing touch upon the picture, it sets one off to the best advantage. Like a flower bed encircling the lawn, it beautifies character. Like a lamp in a dark room, it makes one’s presence cheerful. Nothing has greater influence, and as Matthew Arnold said, “It is three-fourths of life.” As honey on the skin is a protection from the sting of the bee, so politeness will be a safeguard from the stings of the world. Doors will open at its knock. Sunbeams will sparkle in its presence, and everywhere, with everyone, it will act as a magic passport.