"Arthur, I am not angry," rejoined my aunt, "but I must oppose, though I may fail to convince you; I can never desire to see my dear girls, who have been loved, valued, and considered as rational creatures in their own home, become a part of the retinue of a man of fashion; and therefore I neither intend to introduce them upon a theatre where success is failure according to my notion of things, nor attempt to infuse a new class of doctrines upon the nature of happiness into their guiltless hearts. Let us go on in our accustomed routine, and if there ever was a case to which we may apply the maxim 'If ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise,' you will admit its force upon that in question, for so happy are my dear children at Glenalta, that visionary dreams of joy seem not to pass beyond its well-known boundary. When the mind is full of resource, it is wonderfully independent, and suffers none of that ennui which is the disease of vacancy. From the birth of my children to the present time, they have never heard that there was an effect to be produced by any thing they learned except the natural consequences that grow out of virtue and occupation. Marriage may, or may not, be their portion; should it be so, the characters of their husbands may probably differ, as their own do, from each other; and thus far I meet your views, that I should be sorry to see any child of mine marry so imprudently as to plunge into the sordid cares of life without consideration. Should misfortune bring poverty, and the Almighty try his creatures by affliction, how beautiful is it then to behold the exertions which the finest minds are capable of making when sustained by religious submission, and encouraged by fond affection; but to place ourselves willingly in situations which our strength may not prove sufficient to admit of our filling conscientiously, is to presume upon our own powers, and is therefore dangerous. You see then, my dear boy, that as far as my opinion may have weight, you are not to expect any accession to your worldly pride from the Douglas family, who are very unambitious people; and, though I trust that they will never 'disgrace you,' I fear that you must be contented to love them for their own sakes, and not for any flattering unction to be derived through their future destiny. No, I hardly think it likely that Emily, Charlotte, or Fanny, will ever contribute their aid to a high-sounding paragraph in the newspapers; but I shall indeed be disappointed if they are satisfied with less than sense and affection, if they marry."
"My dear aunt, you mistake me: as much sense as you like; and you cannot imagine that I could be such a barbarian as to fancy that any man who married one of my cousins should be so deficient in good taste as not to love her as well as men generally love their wives. Remember, that the happiest home of infancy must, in the course of nature, dissolve; and then what becomes of a luckless sisterhood of old maids, who, having suffered the spring and summer to pass by unheeded, in vain deplore their idle improvidence, and fret away the gloomy remnant of their days on earth in sourness and solitude?" "A dismal picture, indeed," replied my aunt, "I must try if I cannot draw one less dispiriting. In the first place you acknowledge that, according to your scheme, sense and affection, though not principals, are useful accessories, and are to be taken as make-weights into the scale of happiness. Now my idea is, that this is to expect too much, and more than experience will realize, unless in some instance perhaps of extraordinary exception upon which we have no right to calculate. If you marry for rank, you obtain it, and should be satisfied with your bargain; if for fortune, you have gained your object, and must not complain: the contract is fair, though you receive only that for which you make your agreement; and it is quite unjust to suppose that perfections which you never sought, and qualities of which you never went in search, will be added to heap up your measure."
"The happiest home of early life must in nature's course dissolve, you say: agreed; but, the affrighting scene of unavailing misery which you have painted, is not the necessary consequence of such an event. I can imagine three sisters who may not have been tempted to quit the paternal roof by meeting such congeniality of character as they deemed essential to happiness, living together as kindly in the decline, as in the meridian of life. I can imagine them to look abroad without envy, and at home without disgust. If excluded from some enjoyments which belong to another mode of existence, they are spared also many of the evils which attach to it, and with this advantage, that while the former are precarious, the latter are inevitable. The brightest anticipations founded on the most apparently stable foundation, may possibly deceive, but the physical suffering, and the anxious care which are inseparable from the maternal relation, are penalties from which there is no exemption. No bill of indemnity can set aside a mother's pangs; and be assured, that were women endowed with the gift of oracular foresight, and like the ancient Sybils capable of peeping into the cup of futurity, very few would have courage to taste the bitter draught which marriage too frequently mingles to allure by promises, and poison by disappointment. The fondest affection, the kindest support, and all the inestimable charms of sympathetic companionship, may indeed render the conjugal union an antepast of heaven; but such contracts of folly and avarice, as are but too often sealed in what you call the world, represent as truly a state of severest punishment; and between these extremes, a single lot is far to be preferred to the compromise which matrimony in its average of calculation usually exhibits. The great purposes of life are, however, fulfilled at the expense of individual ease, and many a spirit learns in the school of adversity, those blessed lessons of humility and dependence upon a Heavenly Father, that pay with such peace 'as the world can neither give nor take away' for the infliction of an earthly husband."
"Well, my ears," said I, "are unaccustomed to such language. I confess it is no less new than surprising; yet that I may know the full extent of your deviation from modern creeds, perhaps you will describe the sort of helpmate to whose guardianship you would entrust a daughter?"
"Most willingly, Arthur. The peculiar temperament of each individual stamps an impress of its own upon the mind, and, according to the variety of taste, will be our selection of such qualities in a friend, as harmonize with its distinctive character. Marriage has been eloquently described as 'the queen of friendships,' and yet the monarch fares less well than any of her subjects; and while the choice of a companion who is only to travel in our society for a few short miles upon the continent, is governed by kindred feeling and pursuits, the journey which is to end but with life, is undertaken upon the most flimsy ground of temporary whim or expediency. Is this rational, is it consistent conduct?"
"Then may I ask, my dear aunt, do you conceive it really necessary that two people must have learned the same arts, have studied the same sciences, and read the same books; spoken in the same languages, thought the same thoughts, and been in fact, like Helen and Hermia, 'a double cherry seeming parted, but yet a union in partition;' to make a reasonably happy, suitable jog-trot couple in the holy bands of wedlock?"
"Not entirely, though perhaps the more of such similarity the better; but Arthur, you asked for a description, and you shall have one. After the great leading bond of sympathy upon religion and moral conduct, the grain of character is most essential to happiness in married life. There is a fineness of texture in some minds which cannot endure contact with what is coarse, any more than cambrick will bear being united to sail-cloth. The unequal tissue will give way, and the more delicate fabric will be torn to atoms. The mere matters of acquirement may differ without injury to affection, an interchange may take place, which shall borrow sweetness from its source; and even that which possessed no charms to invite its acquisition, may become delightful, if taught by, or studied for the sake of a being whom we love. I knew a lady whose husband was a barrister; they adored each other, but they were poor, and professional industry could not be dispensed with. Their mornings were necessarily passed in the performance of separate duties; but when the business of the day was over, and the evening hearth burned brightly as they sat together, a doubt would arise whether the most enchanting of all gratifications, each others' society, was not a luxury too great for them. The doubt ended in certainty, that law reading ought to supersede the charms of conversation, and what was the result? that affection was too powerful to be selfish, or rather self was extended to a second and a dearer object. The wife determined to convert a solitary and painful duty, into a social delight; she insisted on joining in her husband's study, and several of the driest and most difficult books were read aloud to each other in succession. The experiment answered to admiration. They were engaged together, and this was enough to make them happy. What was distasteful to one, and at first unintelligible to the other, became amusement; and in the morning's walk, were often discussed the cases which had occupied the previous afternoon. Memory was improved by this exercise: a little time enabled the lady still farther to share the fatigues of a beloved partner in noting his briefs, and assisting in other professional cares, rewarded by the delight of knowing that her presence was necessary to the happiness of him who formed her own. Arthur, such is what I call affection, and such is my idea of companionship in wedded love."
My heart glowed, and I could not speak; I gazed on my aunt: her cheek was slightly flushed, and her eyes had acquired the deep and clear expression which brought to my mind that exquisite description in the Prisoner of Chillon.
"The eye of most transparent light That almost made the dungeon bright."
We both paused: when, recovering from a momentry lapse of thought, she continued: "I knew another wife whose husband was employed for several years in various diplomatic trusts of high importance. He was an invalid, and frequently incapaciated from taking part in public affairs; but the faithful friend of his bosom who was a most admirable linguist, wrote his letters in five different tongues, and was supposed to be a native in them all. Can you match these instances of connubial tenderness and confidence in the frigid annals of fashion? Turn, my Arthur, from the heartless trammels, and dare to be free."