“With the greatest pleasure,” responded his lordship: and as his lordship was speaking, Mr Kipperson approached the musical group, and was about to repeat his well-known commentary on Mozart’s music, when, at the instigation of Lord Spoonbill, the music began. He only made two or three blunders through the piece, and Miss Primrose very mercifully concealed them when she could, and accounted for them when she could not conceal them.
In like manner his lordship went through several other duets, as historians speak of battles being fought, “with various success.” In like manner his lordship kept Miss Primrose engaged at the instrument nearly the whole of the evening: so that no one else could enjoy the use of the pianoforte, or be favoured with the company of Miss Primrose, or the charms of his lordship’s conversation. But Mrs Darnley, after long and anxiously watching an opportunity to speak to Penelope, came near to the instrument, and whispered loud enough to be overheard by Lord Spoonbill, “We understand that the Warley is arrived off Portsmouth, and we shall no doubt have letters tomorrow or next day.”
It was rude in Mrs Darnley to interrupt the musical people, and it was condescending in Penelope not to be rudely inattentive, especially as she was listening also to compliments from a lord. But Penelope Primrose was one of those high-spirited young ladies who think nothing of titles. She was thankful for the information which Mrs Darnley communicated to her; but while she felt thankful for the matter she was somewhat troubled by the manner of the information. There was an expression in Lord Spoonbill’s countenance which signified that he not only heard but understood the nature of the communication which was thus made. Very true, it was nothing to his lordship, but still it was not pleasant to Penelope to have this information conveyed to her in the hearing of a third person. She therefore blushed most burningly.
Now Lord Spoonbill was quite as capable of behaving politely as of behaving rudely; and he never did either the one or the other without abundant reason and motive. It was not at this moment part of his system to behave rudely. Very kindly therefore he took no notice of the blushes of the young lady, and very naturally he spoke about Mrs Darnley and the rector of Neverden. He spoke of them in such terms of recommendation as were not best calculated to recommend them. This is an ingenious artifice too well known to require explanation, and too villanous to justify us in saying a single word that should contribute to render the practice more facile. The language had an effect on Penelope, of which she was scarcely aware. She had a feeling of undefined and unaccountable uneasiness, and the very intelligence which Mrs Darnley had communicated did not give her that unmingled pleasure which she had anticipated. The evening passed off not so pleasantly as the day had done.
While Miss Primrose was engaged at the pianoforte, Mrs Greendale was endeavouring with all her powers to entertain Miss Spoonbill. In these endeavours the poor lady laboured with more zeal than judgment. It is a common, but very foolish, practice for little folks to assume greatness, in order to recommend themselves to the great. It never answers, nor is it likely that it should. For what is the use and benefit of rank if it be not to separate and distinguish the superfine part of the species from the general mass of mankind? And whence arises the pleasure of this distinction but from its rarity. Who would care to be a duke amidst a whole nation of dukes, or who feels himself honoured by the title of esquire? Instead therefore of listening with complacency to the harangues of Mrs Greendale, and the talk of her own or her husband’s alliance to nobility, Miss Spoonbill most perversely directed her conversation to the prospects of Penelope Primrose.
“Your niece has a most delightful voice, Mrs Greendale; I think it a great pity that she does not take the advice of my cousin, the Countess, and make use of her musical talents. She would come out under very great patronage.”
“Perhaps so, madam,” replied Mrs Greendale rather hastily: “but as Miss Primrose is the doctor’s relative, and not mine, I do not presume to interfere with my advice as to the disposal of the young lady. Indeed I do not know that there will be any absolute necessity for her having recourse to any occupation.”
“I understand you, Mrs Greendale; but let me advise you as a friend not to suffer any foolish expectations of that nature to prevent the young woman from making use of her talents for her own maintenance. Young women are dependent enough at best. It would be better for them rather to increase than to diminish the means of making themselves independent. It is not wise in young women to depend on the speculation of marrying, for thus many poor things are forced into marriages which are productive of anything but happiness. My cousin, the late Earl of Smatterton, and his most excellent Countess, used always to give it as their advice to young people, not to speculate on the chance of marriage; and the present Countess is of the same opinion.”
Miss Spoonbill thereupon launched out more fully and freely into divers discussions concerning portionless females, and administered much advice, more valuable than welcome, to Mrs Greendale. We will put it to any of our readers whether they would be greatly pleased, if, after taking pains to procure the visiting countenance of a person of high rank, the said personage, instead of visiting on terms of equality, should presume to play the part of a dictator? Mrs Greendale was therefore disappointed, and that most grievously.
Much more conversation than we have recorded passed at the rector of Smatterton’s evening party, but we do not think it necessary to give more to the world. For if by any accident such conversation should find its way into a library for the people, it is possible that the people would not thereby be very greatly edified, nor add much to the reverence which they feel for the clerical order and profession.