Rank and Talent; A Novel, Vol. 3 (of 3)

by William Pitt Scargill

What reason tells us once is right.”

Wilkie.

Great was the astonishment of the Earl of Trimmerstone at receiving the following letter from Horatio Markham:

“My lord,

“In looking over the will of your lordship’s late lamented relative, I am greatly concerned to find an error which seriously affects myself. Not to keep you in suspense, I have to inform your lordship that the legacy which devolves to me as residuary-legatee is far beyond the intention or apprehension of the devisor. It is very clear, that from neglecting to investigate his affairs, the late Mr. Martindale was by no means aware of the extent of his property. The legacies, therefore, devised to your lordship and others related to the deceased, are much less than otherwise they would have been. I know for a certainty that the will was formed on a misapprehension. The appearance of my name at all was by me unsought and unexpected, and for many reasons undesirable. Had the late Mr. Martindale bequeathed to me a small complimentary legacy, I should have accepted it, unhesitatingly, as a memento of his kind friendship. Had a definite, though unreasonably large legacy been devised to me, I might perhaps have hesitated and refused to accept it. But now I find that nearly one-half of the large property possessed by the late Mr. Martindale is bequeathed to me by an error; and therefore I must positively, though respectfully, decline accepting more than the devisor apprehended he had bequeathed to me.

“I have written on the same subject, and to the same purpose, to Signora Rivolta; and I wait to know hers and your lordship’s will and pleasure concerning the matter in question.

“I have the honor to be, &c.”

When the above letter arrived at Trimmerstone, his lordship was busily engaged in inspecting the progress of the operatives at the old hall.

Part of the building had been promptly made fit for his lordship’s residence; and as his establishment was now very small, he was not reluctant to use the contracted residence assigned to him. We have already intimated that the Earl of Trimmerstone was depressed in spirits: it is indeed very natural that he should be. The life which he had led, the companions with whom he had associated, the disappointments which he had experienced, his foolish marriage, the disgraceful conduct of his silly countess, the taunts and reproaches of his opulent relative, the weariness and disgust that he felt in having nothing to do, and the annoyance of an empty title, which merely mocked him with the epithet of Right Honorable, all these things combined to render him almost disgusted with, and weary of life.

In this humor he went to Trimmerstone, and took up his abode at the miserable old hall. The gloom of the building was quite in unison with the feelings of his mind, and he very contentedly set himself down to lament over the vanity of life, and to make amends for his past transgressions by growling right surlily at the sins of others. His solitude was soon invaded by a visit from the rector of Trimmerstone, who was rather fanatical in his theology, and finical in attire and address. Neither of these qualities were, in the first instance, agreeable to his lordship; but the Rev. Marmaduke Sprout had the capacity for flattery in a very high degree. He could presently render himself agreeable to any person of exalted rank by his very courteous and conciliating demeanour; and he possessed a peculiar softness and gentleness of manner, with which indeed the Earl of Trimmerstone would, in his past days of cock-fighting, horse-racing, and boxing, have been thoroughly disgusted. But his lordship was quite an altered man. He did not exactly know what was the matter with himself, till Mr. Sprout introduced to his fretful and fidgetty lordship the subject of fanaticism. That became an excellent antistagnator, and set all his fancies and vagaries at work in quite an opposite direction to that which they had hitherto taken. Formerly, the lowest pursuits under the name of sport or fancy had been agreeable to his lordship; and every species of religious sentiment he had regarded with the profoundest contempt and the most unmingled abhorrence. But now he was sick, and weary of all these things; and because one extreme was purely offensive and wearisome, he took it for granted that the opposite must be truly delightful and highly consistent, and so under the tuition of Mr. Sprout, he changed and reversed all his habits, good, bad, and indifferent. From staking thousands at a horse-race, he turned up his eyes at the grievous abomination of half-crown whist; and, indeed, had he been disposed to card-playing, he could not have indulged himself at Trimmerstone, for Mr. Sprout had banished almost all card-playing from the place, so that there was not a pack of cards in the parish, except two or three mutilated well-thumbed packs of quadrille-cards, which were still used by a knot of antiquated spinsters worthy of the good old days of Sacheverel and High Church. Quadrille-cards will not do for whist, for all the eights, nines and tens are thrown out. Formerly, Lord Trimmerstone used to be proud of giving some of his acquaintance a sumptuous dinner; but now he had changed all that, and he only kept one female cook, who could just manage to make a comfortable and snug little dish or two for his lordship’s own self, occasionally assisted by the Rev. Mr. Sprout. Formerly, his lordship had been disposed to be lively, and oftentimes facetious; but now he was prodigiously grave, and almost sulky. Formerly, his lordship never went to church; now he went twice every Sunday, and said Amen as loud as the clerk, and with much more solemnity, for the clerk did not turn up his eyes for fear of losing the place. Formerly, his lordship had been very candid; now he had become exceedingly censorious, and he seemed to measure his religion by the severity with which he reproved transgressors. His lordship several times attempted to make all the inhabitants of Trimmerstone go to church twice every Sunday, except his own cook. But in this his lordship could not succeed, and indeed it was well for him that he could not; for if he had, the church would have been so crowded that he could not have enjoyed a great, large, lined, stuffed, padded, carpeted pew for himself.