Here, then, was the melancholy truth, and the Gretna-green expedition was a mere feint, to cover the mournful reality, and prevent suspicion from attaching to the families of Ferney and Painesville. Whether Richard Lovett had been on board the boat or not, seemed uncertain, but whoever accompanied the ill-fated Albinia had probably shared her sorrowful fate. The object had plainly been to put a rebel leader safely out of the reach of those emissaries who were endeavouring to apprehend him, and those strenuous partizans in the cause of freedom had lost their lives in accomplishing the enterprize.
My jealousy was now for ever hushed to sleep. Alas! had I not been enabled to explain the conduct of her who had excited it, the sight on which my eyes had rested, furnished an all-powerful remedy for the passion which had been an inmate of my bosom. I have since learned by experience, that the tenderest affection may survive, after the tomb has closed upon those beings most dear to our souls; but the hand of death, in common cases, deals gently with our sorrows, and casts a veil over the objects of whom he deprives us ere yet the living memory of the beloved form is impaired. No love could stand the test by which mine was now tried; nor outlive the shock which it had just sustained. No impression remained to mingle with my pity except that of horror and amazement. I lingered for some time, unable to remove myself from the scene which had nearly deprived me of power to exert a muscle. At length I wrapped up the enamel-case, and its contents, in my handkerchief, which, putting into my pocket, I resolved to keep secret. If I spoke of finding these things, I should be obliged to bring them forward at an inquest. I therefore determined to mention the body only, without farther particulars, and at a distant day I might contrive some unsuspected mode of conveying the ring, which was his property, to Harold.
My next step was to place a great stone on the extremity of poor Albinia's outer garment, to secure the corpse from being carried out again to sea with the ebbing tide. After this precaution, I ran as quickly as I could; pale and faint; to tell my story at the house.
My father lost no time in taking measures for the usual form of inquiry, but no witnesses appeared to give additional information. "Accidental death" was returned by the coroner; and poor Albinia's earthly remains were attended to the grave by all the family of Glendruid, who, in this act of tender feeling towards the dead, forgot how little they had ever approved her living conduct. Norah was a principal figure in the melancholy procession, and bewailed her misfortunes afresh; but as nothing appeared to contradict the story of a clandestine union, the rumour still maintained its ground, and it was conjectured that the parties, desirous to elude pursuit, instead of proceeding directly by land, intended to cross the bay, and make their way through bye roads to Dublin.
The political ferment was daily increasing, and indications of rebellion were continually alarming the well affected.
In about a week after the funeral of Albinia, a packet of letters arrived one morning by the bare-footed messenger who acted as post-boy at Glendruid. As my father had written to Mr. Talbot informing him of all that had happened, directing his letter to Dublin, on the chance of its reaching its destination, I thought it probable that the packet just arrived might be from my Ferney friends, and loitered accordingly in the room where we had breakfasted, hoping to hear some tidings of the absentees.
None being communicated, however, I stole away as usual to the sea side. My heart was dreadfully oppressed. Restless and aspiring by nature, I had no means of gratifying either my activity or my ambition. The transient dream of love which had filled my imagination, and furnished materials for many an air-built castle, which served to beguile the passing hours, had vanished. The blank which my mind experienced was insupportable. I would willingly have done any thing to change the scene, and give a new current to my thoughts. I envied the weather-beaten ploughman who toiled for his daily bread, and would gladly have engaged in the most laborious occupation which might detach my memory from recent events. The spectre of Albinia, arrayed in all the horrors of the deep, was present everywhere; and the particulars of that frightful picture disturbed my sleep. I could not read; if I fixed my eyes but for a moment on a book, I found them wandering; and if I compelled myself to finish a page, I had no impression of its contents, on which the outward sense had only been employed, while attention strayed and resisted all control. Sadly and listlessly lounging in my rocky recess, I heard M'Farlane's voice calling my name. I started up, and advancing to meet him, was informed that my father and mother had gone to the Glyn, whither they desired that I should follow.
I felt little satisfaction in obeying this summons, conscious as I was of not meriting any agreeable communication at the meeting, and always fearful of scrutiny into my conduct.
What misery is the portion of those who quit the path of duty! but I made no such comment then, though I practically experienced its truth, and writhed under its influence.
When I reached the rustic seat in the Glyn, where my parents awaited my coming, a mingled sensation of sullenness and shame produced awkwardness on my part, the pain of which I still remember. How beautiful the youthful glow of artlessness and affection! I could not look up, yet disdained to cast down my eyes, and attempting to brave feelings which I could not escape, sent round a furtive unmeaning glance, which dared not rest on any object, but spoke the perturbation of my soul, while it affected the ease of indifference. My mother's eyes were swollen with weeping, and my father's cheek was blanched with inward corrosion of heart.