ONE MOTHER'S AWAKENING
One mother in a western state—a county superintendent of schools—told us the following interesting story of her own experience, which we think may be of help to some of our mother readers.
One morning her seven-year old son rushed into the house exclaiming: "Oh, mother, there is a new calf out in the barn, and I know where it came from; I saw a wagon load of calves come by here yesterday, and one of them must have dropped off, for it is right out there in the barn with old Bess this minute."
The mother was very busy with her papers and her reports, and she let the incident pass with a smile, thinking it was a very pretty little story. A week later the six-year old brother came in saying: "Mother, I think there must have been another wagon load of calves passed by, and one must have been lost off, for old Nell is cleaning up a little calf out in the barn for all she is worth," while the older brother piped up: "Sure, it was another load of calves; that is just exactly the way the other calf got here;" and the two little fellows went off to school.
About a month later that county superintendent suddenly became a much wiser mother than she was before, although her heart was made to ache. Both boys came home from school one day and the older one met her with something like this: "I am mad! I've been lied to; all the fellows at school say I have, and they are making sport of me, too," and with a glare in his reddened eye he continued, "You know that new calf did not come off that wagon; you know that calf came from old Bess herself; all the fellows say so at school, and they are making all kinds of fun of me, and I don't want to go back. I'd like to run away from home." The mother quietly drew the boy to her side and reminded him that she had simply listened; that she had not opened her mouth; that he came into the room and told about the incident himself, but this did not satisfy him. He turned to her wounded and crushed, saying: "Well, you let a fellow believe it, and that's just as bad;" and this educated mother—this trusted custodian of a county full of school children—beseeched me to warn mothers everywhere to teach their children the truth, and to never let a child go to school with a sex misunderstanding. She told me that it took her six months to get that boy's confidence back again.
DON'T GET SHOCKED
I believe that many mothers make the sad mistake of showing the child that they are shocked by trivial sayings and trifling experiences of their little people. If we could only get it into our heads for once and for all that our children are born into this world veritable little thieves and falsifiers, as well as adventurers and explorers, we would then cease being so shocked and outraged by their frank statements of what they have heard or have done. Let the mother listen to all these things with calmness, while she seeks to direct the child's mind in pure and elevated channels—to help him upward by imparting "precept upon precept; here a little and there a little."
Children will come in with stories that at first thought do greatly shock the parent; but under no circumstances should the boy or girl discover that the parent is shocked, for if he does he will not likely come again with another such "shocking" difficulty. One mother told me that her seven-year-old boy, beginning third grade, came into her bedroom one morning saying: "Mother, I am just busting to say something," and this mother very wisely said, "Well, say it; certainly I don't want you to burst," and she told me that this boy whispered to her three of the filthiest words that he could possibly have heard on the streets. In relating this experience to me she said: "Do you know, doctor, that I really did not know what to think at first, but I remembered that you had taught me never to be shocked, and so I looked up and asked: "Do you feel better?" whereupon he breathed a big sigh and exclaimed: "What a relief! I have just been busting to say that to somebody." Mother, to whom would you rather he would say these things? to you, or to some little girl out on the street, or to some older boy? Think what trouble and possible mischief were avoided by whispering into the sympathetic ear of mother. This wise mother turned to that little boy and said: "Son, that ear is always waiting for just such things and whenever you feel like saying something—like getting it off your mind—you just come to me;" and he came repeatedly. One time he came in saying: "I don't know whether you want me to play with Harold or not; he does some of those things you told me about the other day." And the mother thoughtfully and wisely looked up and said: "Did he do it in front of his mother? Why of course he didn't. Did he ask you to go into the bedroom or bathroom and lock the door?" and the little fellow quickly answered: "Why sure he did; how did you guess it?" and added "now I suppose you are not going to let me play with him any more," and this wise mother, knowing that if she denied him this privilege that it would quite likely be frequently sought, said: "Why, certainly play with Harold in the open, but whenever he suggests secrecy—" she did not have time to finish the sentence, the boy said: "I am wise; whenever he gets to doing that 'funny business' I'll skiddoo." The confidence between that mother and son, to my mind, was wonderfully sublime—all the while practical and helpful in his daily training.
DON'T REPULSE THE CHILD
A little older child sees the fowls, the dogs, or the cats, "mating," and then, rushing into the house, inquires what it is all about; and unless the mother is on her guard some older member of the family may show surprise and thus thoughtlessly convey to the child's mind that his question is improper and entirely out of place. To the question, "What are they doing, mamma?" quietly answer, "Just mating, dear, just as the flowers mate; everything that lives or grows comes as the result of mating."