The fulfilling of this prediction we shall see; for within a short time a war ensued with the Dutch, and the pestilence appeared at London; but before it broke out, yet more of the imprisoned Quakers were condemned to banishment, viz. two and thirty persons, both men and women, who were sentenced by the court on the 6th, 14th, and 15th of December; for whatever they said in defence of themselves, proved ineffectual. One asked, If we meet really to worship God, must we suffer for that? And judge Hide answered, ‘Yes, that you must.’ But judge Keeling, to mend the matter a little, said, ‘You shall not suffer for worshipping God, but for being at an unlawful assembly contrary to the law.’ Another said, ‘I meet to worship the eternal God in Spirit, as he persuades my heart and conscience; and must I be condemned to banishment for that?’ ‘Yes, yes,’ said judge Keeling, ‘for the law is against it.’ To which judge Twisden added, ‘He hath confessed that he was there to worship God; and their worship is contrary to the liturgy of the church of England.’ Thus we see, if there was but evidence that the prisoners had been at a meeting, this was counted sufficient to condemn them. A woman being asked, what she had to say to the evidence given, answered, ‘Be it known unto you all, if I had as many bodies as hairs on my head, I could lay them all down for the living eternal truth of the living God.’ After all the prisoners had been called to the bar, they were at length sentenced to be transported to Jamaica, and to remain there seven years.
This year in September died my mother, Judith Zinspenning at Amsterdam in Holland, where she was born of religious parents among the Baptists, into whose society her father Conrad Zinspenning was entered in a singular manner; of which, though it may seem somewhat out of my road, yet because of the remarkable steps of Providence appearing therein, I will give a short account. He being of Cologne in Germany, was bred a Papist; and after he had past the Latin schools, his father thrust him into a cloister; (for Papists used to think it meritorious to offer up one of their children to the clergy.) But he found the monastical life so much against his inclination, that his father dying before the probation year was expired, he begged his mother to assist him in his intention to leave the fraternity, since he was not yet bound by vow. She complied with his desire, and so he got out, and then he was put to a trade. After he had served his time, he resolved to travel, and first took a turn to Holland, from thence to France, and then to Italy, and the metropolis Rome, and so back again. Having been a lay-friar, he got letters of recommendation to such monasteries as were of the order of those monks he had lived with; that so he might freely find lodging there for sometime. And because in Holland there are no cloisters, he was recommended to some eminent Papists at Amsterdam: whither being come, he liked the place so well, that he resolved to stay there sometime; which he did, after having found employment. And thus getting into acquaintance, he came in time to live with a Baptist, who employed him as a journeyman. He never till now met with the New Testament, in which he began to read so eagerly, that the Lord co-operating by his good Spirit, his understanding came to be opened, so that he got a clear sight of the superstition and errors of the popish religion, in which he was trained up; and then entering into discourse with his master, was persuaded to renounce popery, and to enter into the communion of the Baptists. This broke all his measures concerning his intended travels; and then resolving to settle where he was, he took to wife one Catharine de Mol, a virtuous maid, whose father was one of the primitive Baptists that arose under the persecution in Flanders, from whence he with many more came to settle in Holland.
From these parents my mother descended, who was religiously inclined even from her youth, and became so well versed in the Holy Scriptures; and was so diligent in writing down so much of the sermons she heard, as she could retain by memory; that her father said sometimes, ‘It is a pity that this girl is not a boy, who then in time might become an eminent instrument in the church.’ After she was come to age, though much inclined to lead a single life, yet at length she was married to my father, Jacob Williamson Sewel, a very religious young man; whose father William Sewel, from Kidderminster in Worcestershire, having been one of those Brownists, that left England and settled in Holland, married a Dutch wife at Utrecht, where my father was born; who being come to age, endeavoured to walk in the narrow way, and conversed mostly with the strictest professors of those days. And both he and my mother came in time to grow dissatisfied with that worship to which they were joined; yet in clearness of understanding my mother exceeded my father; nevertheless she continued dissatisfied as well as he, with the common way of worship she belonged to; so that oftentimes, when she came from the meeting-house, she resolved not to go there any more, because she reaped no real and substantial benefit by it. But then the first day of the week being come again, she was in a straight, thinking that however it was, yet by the apostle we were exhorted not to forsake the assemblies. In this irresolute condition she continued a long time; and being incumbered with the cares of the family, she was not so much at liberty for performing religious duties, (viz. prayers, reading of, and meditating on the Holy Scriptures, visiting the sick, and such like pious exercises,) as she was before she was married; which made her wish sometimes she had never entered into matrimony, and that she might live to enjoy again that peace and quiet which once she had. But she knew not yet that it was the love of the Lord thus working upon her, to draw her off from transitory things. In this state she was often seized with grief and sorrow, so that she counted herself the most miserable of women; for neither husband nor children, nor any outward enjoyments, could afford her any pleasure; but all her desire was to attain to an undefiled state, in which she might live an unblameable life, not only before men, but also before God; for feeling there was yet something in her which was evil and polluting, she struggled to overcome it; but all her labour proved in vain. This made her cry earnestly to the Lord as one in great danger; and her doubts whether it was possible to attain to perfection increased. But in this forlorn state it pleased the Lord to manifest himself to her in some measure, though she knew not then it was he. And often she cried out, ‘Lord what will it avail me to know that thou hast sent thy Son into the world, and that he was crucified and died for the sins of the world, if I am not saved by it. Lord forgive my sins, and have mercy upon me.’ And once when she was alone, pouring out her heart before the Lord, he made himself known to her, and spoke to her soul, that if she would be perfect, she must follow the light in every respect. Having heard this, she desired to know what this light was; and the Lord showed her, that the light was the life of men. This she understood in some degree, and so separated herself as much as ever she could conveniently from conversation, endeavouring to live retiredly. And having about this time heard Dr. Galenus Abrahams, an eminent Baptist teacher, preach upon the parable of the seedsman; that which he spoke concerning the good ground, and how the ground must be fitted by the Lord’s working, so affected her, that she resolved to rest from all her own labour; and so she left frequenting the Baptists’ assemblies any more.
In this retired state she continued a good while, and at length came to hear William Ames preach; and he declaring the light of Christ as the true teacher, this agreed with what had already been told her inwardly by the immediate manifestations of the Lord to her. And thus she came fully to be convinced that this was the truth she had so long desired to know. Now she saw that it was her duty to give up all, and to keep nothing back: for she had already seen, that if she would be Christ’s disciple, she must forsake all, even her own self. But a fear of the cross was no small impediment to her; yet now she gave up to obedience; and saw that her former performances had been defective; and now all came into remembrance. This caused sorrow; but she prayed to the Lord both night and day, and then he manifested his power by which she was led out of the darkness and bondage, wherein she had been held captive; and her supplication was to the Lord, that it might not be with her as formerly, to wit, sometimes great zeal, and then coldness again; but that she might continue in fervency of spirit. After a long time of mourning the Lord manifested his kindness to her, by which she came to be quickened and refreshed; and by the judgments of the Lord all was narrowly searched out, so that nothing could be hid; and a separation was made between the precious and the vile, and death passed over all. But thus to part with all her own wisdom, and forsake her great attainments, was no small cross: yet she became willing to hear it, although many violent tempests rose to draw her off, if possible, from closely adhering to the beloved of her soul; yet she was not forward in imitation: for my father, who when he was convinced of the truth preached by W. Ames and W. Caton, soon left off the common way of salutation, would sometimes persuade her by arguments to do so too; but she told him, if the leaving off of that custom was a thing the Lord required, she believed he would show it her in his own time, because she was given up to follow his requirings. And so the Lord did in due time; and she continuing zealously faithful, he was pleased after my father’s death to give her a public testimony, and she became eminently gifted: for her natural abilities surpassing the ordinary qualifications of her sex, and becoming sanctified by the Spirit of the Lord, could not but produce good effects; and she came to be much visited and sought to by professors; and the Fifth monarchy-men applauded her because of her pathetical admonitions. But she was above flattery, and trampled upon it. Nay, she was so well esteemed, that I remember, having some movings to visit the collegians in their meeting, after one of them had left off speaking, she stood up, and said, that she had something upon her mind to speak to them by way of exhortation. But knowing that they suffered not women to speak amongst them, she was not willing bluntly to intrude herself; but desired their leave, which they readily granted, and one of their chief speakers said to her, ‘It is true, friend, we do not allow women to speak in the church; yet we hear that respect to you, that we give you the liberty of speaking.’ And then she cleared herself, having formerly been a frequenter of that assembly. And when she had done speaking, I do not remember she was contradicted by any; but one of their speakers concluded the meeting with a prayer.
Before that time she wrote and published a small book to those of her former society, which she called a Serious Reproof of the Flemish Baptists: in which she dealt very plainly with them; and showed how they were apostatized. She wrote also some other treatises, extant in print; and was much beloved and well esteemed by English friends, as appears by several letters written to her from England, and yet extant. Those of her own nation often resorted to her for instruction, she being so well exercised in the way of the Lord, that she was able to speak a word in season to various conditions. Many times she visited the meetings at Alkmaar, Haarlem and Rotterdam; and was often invited by her friends to come and edify them with her gift. She wrote also many letters for edification and admonition to particular persons, and some epistles also to the church. But it pleased the Lord to take her early to himself. When she fell sick, she soon had a sense that she was not like to recover, and therefore spoke much to me in private, and acquainted me with several things touching myself, and relating to her outward estate. And the night before she departed, she called me to her bed-side, and exhorted me very fervently to depart from evil, and to fear the Lord: which by the mercy of God in time, made very deep impressions on my mind; so that still I find reason to bless the name of the Lord for having been pleased that I was the son of such an excellent mother: who early in the morning when she felt death approaching, called me up out of my bed, and sent me to her brother, and to W. Caton, to come and see her; and I had hardly been returned a quarter of an hour before she departed this life, and slept in peace, to my great grief then; though afterwards, when I came to years of discerning, I saw reason to believe that it was not without a singular providence that the Lord had taken her away: for one had long continued to be an importunate suitor to her, who in time lost his integrity. To give a small instance of her true zeal for God, I will insert here the following epistle she wrote to her friends, to stir up the pure mind in them.
An Epistle to the Friends of Truth.
‘Grace and peace be multiplied among you, my dearly and much beloved friends, you that have received a blessing from God the heavenly Father in Christ Jesus, the Lord of glory; who by his unspeakable love, and his unchangeable light, hath drawn you off from the imaginary worships, and brought you in measure to know him who was from the beginning. Dear friends, keep in the light by which ye are enlightened, and in the knowledge of God, which every one hath received for himself; watching against the seducings of Satan; that your eyes may be kept open, lest deceit should prevail in any of you, by which truth might lose its splendour, and the brightness of the Lord become darkened.
‘I write these things to you in true love, and though but young, yet as one that takes care for you; for the Lord knows how often ye are in my remembrance; desiring for you, that ye may not only know the truth, but that ye may be found to be living witnesses of it: for I, knowing the preciousness of it, cannot but desire that others may also participate of the same; labour, therefore, for it, my friends, that so, when the Lord comes and calls to an account, every one may be found faithful according to what he hath received: for this is the talent which the Lord hath given, viz. the knowledge of him who is true, and who rewardeth every one according to his deeds: but the negligent and slothful servant said that his Lord was an hard man, and that he gathered where he had not strewed, and this was his condemnation: for the Lord said, “Thou knewest that I was an austere man; wherefore then gavest not thou my money into the bank, that at my coming I might have required mine own with usury?” Mind these things, my beloved friends, ye that have an ear to hear, and dig after this parable in yourselves; for we all have received talents, some more, and others less. Let therefore every one be faithful to the Lord, according to what he hath received; for truly some of you, I believe, have received five talents. Let it but be duly considered and seen in the light of the Lord, what knowledge ye have had of the eternal God beyond many, even when ye were yet in darkness: how often hath the Lord appeared, and clearly made manifest himself? And how abundantly hath he made it known in the heart, that he it was who was worthy to be feared and served? Certainly that is a great and weighty talent, and therefore the Lord may say justly, what could I have done more to my vineyard? O my friends, besides all this, he hath caused his eternal light to shine into our hearts, whereby we have seen the corrupted ways of the world, and paths leading to death. This, I say, the Lord hath showed us by his eternal light: glory and praises be given to our God for ever.
‘Dear friends, go on in that in which ye have begun; for I can hear witness for the Lord, that his love hath been abundantly shed abroad upon us, without respect of persons: because those that fear him, and work righteousness, are acceptable to him; and he makes his truth manifest among us, and causeth his peace and mercy to rest upon us. It is true, that Satan doth not rest to scatter this, and to sow doubts and unbelief in our hearts; but we keeping close to the Lord, are preserved from his snares; and happy is he who hath found a place where he is freed from tempests: but before this place be found, there are many hidden rocks that may be struck on, not unknown to me. And therefore I have true compassion on those who are not past them all yet; for shipwreck may easily be suffered on any of these.
‘Yet in all this danger there is something on which we may rely safely, and to which we may trust, being as a beacon, viz. the light shining into our hearts, though it be sometimes but as a spark, and so small, in regard of the manifold seducings, that it can hardly be discerned. Here then is no small grief and anguish; here all the mercies of the Lord, which formerly we enjoyed abundantly, are called in question, or doubted of; here is danger, and yet certainty; for by not sinning, the beacon is minded, and by relying on a true hope to be saved, we are preserved in the tempest. I write these things for the information of those that are travelling towards a city that hath a foundation, and whose builder and maker is God; for to such my love is extended, and my desire to the Lord for them is, that they may be kept by his power, to remain standing at his coming.