‘But condemned forever be all those false worships with which any have idolized my person in the night of my temptation, when the power of darkness was above. All their casting of their clothes in the way, their bowings and singings, and all the rest of those wild actions which did any ways tend to dishonour the Lord, or draw the minds of any from the measure of Christ Jesus in themselves, to look at flesh, which is as grass, or to ascribe that to the visible, which belongs to Christ Jesus; all that I condemn, by which the pure name of the Lord hath been any ways blasphemed through me, in the time of temptation: or the spirits of any people grieved, that truly love the Lord Jesus, throughout the whole world, of what sort soever. This offence I confess, which hath been sorrow of heart, that the enemy of man’s peace in Christ, should get this advantage in the night of my trial, to stir up wrath and offences in the creation of God; a thing the simplicity of my heart did not intend, the Lord knows; who in his endless love hath given me power over it, to condemn it. And also that letter which was sent me to Exeter, by John Stranger, when I was in prison, with these words, ‘Thy name shall be no more James Nayler, but Jesus,’ this I judge to be written from the imaginations; and a fear struck me when I first saw it, so I put it into my pocket, close, not intending any should see it; which they finding on me, spread it abroad, which the simplicity of my heart never owned. So this I deny also, that the name of Christ Jesus was received instead of James Nayler, or ascribed to him; for that name is to the promised seed to all generations; and he that hath the Son, hath the name, which is life and power, the salvation and the unction, into which name all the children of light are baptized. So the name of Christ I confess before men, which name to me hath been a strong tower in the night and in the day; and this is the name of Christ Jesus, which I confess, the Son and the Lamb, the promised seed, where he speaks in male and female. But who hath not this in himself, hath not life, neither can have, by idolizing my person, or the person of any flesh; but in whom the heir is born, and hath spoken, or doth speak, there he must not be denied the mouth to speak by, who is head over all, and in all his own, God blessed forever.
‘And all those ranting wild spirits, which then gathered about me in that time of darkness; and all their wild actions and wicked words against the honour of God, and his pure spirit and people; I deny that bad spirit, the power and the works thereof; and as far as I gave advantage, through want of judgment, for that evil spirit in any to arise, I take shame to myself justly; having formerly had power over that spirit, in judgment and discerning, wherever it was; which darkness came over me through want of watchfulness and obedience to the pure eye of God, and diligently minding the reproof of life, which condemns the adulterous spirit. So the adversary got advantage, who ceases not to seek to devour; and being taken captive from the true light, I was walking in the night where none can work, as a wandering bird fit for a prey. And if the Lord of all my mercies had not rescued me, I had perished; for I was as one appointed to death and destruction, and there was none could deliver me. And this I confess, that God may be justified in his judgment, and magnified in his mercies without end, who did not forsake his captive in the night, even when his spirit was daily provoked and grieved; but hath brought me forth to give glory to his name for ever. And it is in my heart to confess to God, and before men, my folly and offence in that day: yet were there many things formed against me in that day to take away my life, and bring scandal upon the Truth, of which I am not guilty at all; as that accusation, as if I had committed adultery with some of those women who came with us from Exeter prison, and also those who were with me at Bristol the night before I suffered there; of both which accusations I am clear before God, who kept me in that day both in thought and deed, as to all women, as a child, God is my record. And this I mention in particular, (hearing of some who still cease not to reproach therewith God’s Truth and people,) that the mouth of enmity might be shut from evil speaking; though this toucheth not my conscience.
‘And that report, as though I had raised Dorcas Erbury from the dead carnally, this I deny also, and condemn that testimony to be out of the Truth; though that power that quickens the dead, I deny not, which is the word of eternal life. And this I give forth, that it may go as far as the offence against the Spirit of Truth hath gone abroad, that all burdens may be taken off of the Truth, and the Truth cleared thereby, and the true light, and all that walk therein, and the deeds of darkness be condemned; and that all that are in darkness, may not act in the night, but stay upon God, who dwells in the light, who with the workers of iniquity hath no fellowship; which had I done, when first darkness came upon me, and not been led by others, I had not run against that rock to be broken, which so long had borne me, and of whom I had so largely drank, and of which I now drink in measure; to whom be the glory of all, and to him must every tongue confess, as Judge and Saviour, God over all, blessed forever.’
The author adding to this an exhortation to the reader, how to behave himself, if at any time he came to be tempted to sin; and also a warning, not to rely too much on gifts, wisdom, and knowledge, concludes thus:
‘This I have learned in the deeps, and in secret, when I was alone; and now declare openly in the day of thy mercy, O Lord. Glory to the Highest for evermore, who hath thus far set me free, to praise his righteousness and his mercy; and to the eternal, invisible, pure God, over all, be fear, obedience, and glory for evermore. Amen.
JAMES NAYLER.’
He writ another paper, wherein he related at large, how by unwatchfulness he came to fall, after having once obtained much victory over the power of Satan, by the grace of God, when he daily walked humbly in his fear, having for some years laboured faithfully in the ministry of the gospel. But what is remarkable, though wherever he did use to come, he went with great boldness through all opposition, yet coming to the city of London, he entered it with the greatest fear that ever he came into any place with, in spirit foreseeing, as he relates, somewhat to befal him there, but not knowing what it might be: ‘Yet had I,’ (thus he saith,) ‘the same presence and power as before, into whatever place or service I was led of the Spirit; in that life I never returned without victory in Christ Jesus, the Lord thereof. But not minding in all things to stand single and low to the motions of that endless life, by it to be led in all things within and without; but giving away to the reasoning part, as to some things which in themselves had no seeming evil, by little and little it drew out my mind after trifles, vanities, and persons, which took the affectionate part, by which my mind was drawn out from the constant watch, and pure fear, into which I once was begotten. Thus having in a great measure lost my own guide, and darkness being come upon me, I sought a place where I might have been alone to weep and cry before the Lord, that his face I might find, and my condition recover. But then my adversary, who had long waited his opportunity, had got in, and bestirred himself every way, so that I could not be hid: and divers messages came to me, some true, some false, as I have seen since. So I knowing some to be true, to wit, how I had lost my condition, with this I let in the false message also; and so letting go that little of the true light which I had yet remaining in myself, I gave up myself wholly to be led by others; whose work was then to divide me from the children of light, which was done: though much was done by divers of them to prevent it, and in bowels of tender love many laboured to have stayed me with them. And after I was led out from them, the Lord God of my life sent divers of his servants with his word after me, for my return; all which was rejected; yea, the provocation of that time of temptation was exceeding great against the pure love of God; yet he left me not; for after I had given myself under that power, and darkness was above, my adversary so prevailed, that all things were turned and perverted against my right seeing, hearing, or understanding; only a secret hope and faith I had in my God, whom I had served, that he would bring me through it, and to the end of it, and that I should again see the day of my redemption from under, it all; and this quieted my soul in my greatest tribulation.’
The author, moreover, seriously exhorting others, who also might come to fall into great temptation, concludes with these words:
‘He who hath saved my soul from death thus far, and hath lifted my feet up out of the pit, even to him be immortal glory forever, and let every troubled soul trust in him; for his mercy endureth forever.
JAMES NAYLER.’