BENEDICK.
That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks; but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is,—for the which I may go the finer,—I will live a bachelor.
DON PEDRO.
I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.
BENEDICK.
With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker’s pen and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid.
DON PEDRO.
Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument.
BENEDICK.
If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder and called Adam.
DON PEDRO.
Well, as time shall try: ‘In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.’
BENEDICK.
The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull’s horns and set them in my forehead; and let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they write, ‘Here is good horse to hire,’ let them signify under my sign ‘Here you may see Benedick the married man.’
CLAUDIO.
If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.
DON PEDRO.
Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.
BENEDICK.
I look for an earthquake too then.