The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

by William Shakespeare

VIOLA.
Why, man?

CLOWN.
Why, sir, her name’s a word; and to dally with that word might make my sister wanton. But indeed, words are very rascals, since bonds disgraced them.

VIOLA.
Thy reason, man?

CLOWN.
Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words, and words are grown so false, I am loath to prove reason with them.

VIOLA.
I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and car’st for nothing.

CLOWN.
Not so, sir, I do care for something. But in my conscience, sir, I do not care for you. If that be to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.

VIOLA.
Art not thou the Lady Olivia’s fool?

CLOWN.
No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly. She will keep no fool, sir, till she be married, and fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to herrings, the husband’s the bigger. I am indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of words.

VIOLA.
I saw thee late at the Count Orsino’s.

CLOWN.
Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun; it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master as with my mistress. I think I saw your wisdom there.