SIR TOBY.
Well said, Master Parson.
MALVOLIO.
Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged. Good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad. They have laid me here in hideous darkness.
CLOWN.
Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms, for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy. Say’st thou that house is dark?
MALVOLIO.
As hell, Sir Topas.
CLOWN.
Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clerestories toward the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction?
MALVOLIO.
I am not mad, Sir Topas. I say to you this house is dark.
CLOWN.
Madman, thou errest. I say there is no darkness but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.
MALVOLIO.
I say this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say there was never man thus abused. I am no more mad than you are. Make the trial of it in any constant question.
CLOWN.
What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wildfowl?
MALVOLIO.
That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.