Ant. In faith, she’s too curst.
Beat. Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God’s 020 sending that way; for it is said, ‘God sends a curst cow short horns;’ but to a cow too curst he sends none.
Leon. So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.
Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and 025 evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard [026] on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen.
[027] Leon. You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
Beat. What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel, and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that 030 hath a beard is more than a youth; and he that hath no beard is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him: therefore I will even take sixpence in earnest of the [034] bear-ward, and lead his apes into hell.
[035] Leon. Well, then, go you into hell?
Beat. No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet [037] me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say ‘Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here’s no place for you maids:’ so deliver I up my apes, and away [040] to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long.
Ant. [To Hero] Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled by your father.
[044] Beat. Yes, faith; it is my cousin’s duty to make courtesy, and say, ‘Father, as it please you.’ But yet for all [045] that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make [047] another courtesy, and say, ‘Father, as it please me.’