Enter Falstaff, with his Page bearing his sword and buckler.[3329]
Fal. Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my
water?
Page. He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy[3330]
water; but, for the party that owed it, he might have more[3331]
diseases than he knew for.[3332]5
Fal. Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: the
brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not able to[3333]
invent any thing that tends to laughter, more than I invent[3334]
or is invented on me: I am not only witty in myself, but
the cause that wit is in other men. I do here walk before10
thee like a sow that hath overwhelmed all her litter but one.[3335]
If the prince put thee into my service for any other reason
than to set me off, why then I have no judgement. Thou
whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap
than to wait at my heels. I was never manned with an[3336]15
agate till now: but I will inset you neither in gold nor silver,[3337]
but in vile apparel, and send you back again to your master,[3338]
for a jewel,—the juvenal, the prince your master, whose chin[3338]
is not yet fledged. I will sooner have a beard grow in the[3339]
palm of my hand than he shall get one on his cheek; and[3340]20
yet he will not stick to say his face is a face-royal: God[3341]
may finish it when he will, 'tis not a hair amiss yet: he may[3342]
keep it still at a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn[3343]
sixpence out of it; and yet he'll be crowing as if he had[3344]
writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may25
keep his own grace, but he's almost out of mine, I can[3345]
assure him. What said Master Dombledon about the satin[3346]
for my short cloak and my slops?[3347]
Page. He said, sir, you should procure him better
assurance than Bardolph: he would not take his band[3348]30
and yours; he liked not the security.
Fal. Let him be damned, like the glutton! pray God[3349]
his tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! a rascally[3350]
yea-forsooth knave! to bear a gentleman in hand, and then
stand upon security! The whoreson smooth-pates do now[3351]35
wear nothing but high shoes, and bunches of keys at their
girdles; and if a man is through with them in honest taking[3352]
up, then they must stand upon security. I had as lief they[3353]
would put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with
security. I looked a' should have sent me two and twenty[3354]40
yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he sends me[3355]
security. Well, he may sleep in security; for he hath the
horn of abundance, and the lightness of his wife shines
through it: and yet cannot he see, though he have his own
lanthorn to light him. Where's Bardolph?[3356]45
Page. He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship[3357]
a horse.
Fal. I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse
in Smithfield: an I could get me but a wife in the stews, I[3358]
were manned, horsed, and wived.50
Enter the Lord Chief Justice and Servant.[3359]