260 Val. O my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine! [Exeunt Val. and Pro.]
[Launce.] I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave: but that’s all one, if he be but [one knave]. He lives not now that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a team of horse 265 shall not pluck that from me; nor who ’tis I love; and yet ’tis a woman; but what woman, I will not tell myself; and yet ’tis a milkmaid; yet ’tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet ’tis a maid, for she is her master’s maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel,— 270 which is much in a bare Christian. [Pulling out a paper.] Here is the [cate-log] of her [condition]. ‘Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.’ Why, a horse can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she better than a jade. ‘Item: She can [milk;’ look you,] a III. 1.
275 sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.
[Enter Speed.]
Speed. How now, Signior Launce! what news with your mastership?
Launce. With my [master’s ship]? why, it is at sea.
Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word. 280 What news, then, in your paper?
Launce. The blackest news that ever thou heardest.
Speed. Why, man, how black?
Launce. Why, as black as ink.
Speed. Let me read them.