“I don’t know.”
“Go on, Clarinda,” said her father.
“I’ve something to say. It will no doubt fill you both with astonishment. It has been on my mind for a long time. The other things have come to me only tonight. Listen, and get it carefully in your minds. Don’t think I am indelicate or that I regret. I know it is the allotted thing for women. It is the natural condition. As you have both said so often, the one and only reason for women being in the world. I am going to be a mother.”
“Clarinda!” exclaimed Peter. A curious wave went over him.
“I am not pleased,” said her father, slowly as if turning the thing over in his mind. “It is dangerous.”
“Irrespective of your ideas, it is true. I’ve said nothing about it before for many reasons,” she went on. “You must not think for a moment that I am afraid. Nature doesn’t allow me to be afraid. Many times since this thing has come upon me I have analyzed my sensations. I find my heart is filled with a curious kind of joy. I find my whole nature has undergone a change and that my outlook has expanded. It seems to me as if I’ve gone through a revolution. But there is something else, something that is closer to my heart than even that. It is supposed to be the closest thing that can come to a woman.”
“For the Lord’s sake! What else?” asked Peter with astonishment.
“There is much else. I have discovered that I am all wrong,” Clarinda went on quietly and slowly and her voice carried a peculiar tone of sadness. “My life is all wrong. My perspective is all wrong. I discover I’ve been submerged by you two. Still, I don’t believe it is exactly all your fault. A great deal of it arises from my own point of view. But, now, I’ve come to a point. I have revolted. This revolt may arise from my condition. This condition may create this revolt. It seems to me as if it were a physical awakening. I don’t know where to place the blame. It may be your fault, Peter. But it is more the fault of my mother and father. They laid down the lines, and Peter simply follows out these limits as they had placed them.”
Her father did not reply. To him it was wonderful to hear her speak. It interested him vitally, for as far as he was concerned it placed Clarinda in a new light. He had never thought it was in her to have an idea except such as was conveyed to her by either Peter or himself. It was a new concept. He could not judge if she were making a mistake or not. He waited for her to say more.
“All my life,” she began again, “I’ve been trained by people who tried to avoid for me any phase of life that might be difficult. As I see it, my existence has been made a bed of roses. Temptation has been kept from me. Existence as it is has been pushed aside. Luxury has been spread at my feet. Everything has been done to lead me to believe that in the world there was nothing but ease and comfort. I was allowed to look only upon the bright side. The lights were always lit, and yet I lived in a haze. Somehow I felt during all the years I lived that it was wrong. But I did not try to reason the thing out. I could not. What is the result? I am the result.” Clarinda stopped and then with a new tone in her voice went on: