Mr. Rathom, who has enough to laugh over at the expense of Deutschland-über-alles for the rest of his life, has not shown to the world more than one-twentieth of his mirth-provoking materials. But how we do wish that by hook or by crook William the Witless might be told just how stupid his diplomatic representatives really were, and how much their stupidity helped the Allies.
It has been said that liars need long memories; and it can safely be added that they also need as much intelligence as pet monkeys. A rogue who pays his fellow rogues by checks on his bank account is utterly hopeless. The only proper place for him is the cooling room of an asylum for idiots.
The playgrounds of the great American schoolboy have produced many a nugget of worldly wisdom. One of them is the unanswerable admonition that "Cheating never thrives."
All mankind hates treachery under the cloak of friendship. After Boy-Ed, Papen, Bernstorff, Dumba and Albert, what will we think of the Germans and Austrians who are sent to us after the war, to represent their governments? How can Americans regard them as anything else than spies and traitors of the same brands as their predecessors, who will lie to us, and knife us in the back as often and as deeply as the interests of their governments may seem to require? All such "diplomats" deserve to be hanged by the governments to which they are sent. Fancy the next "His Excellency, the German Ambassador" being presented to the President of the United States a few months from now, shaking hands, and proffering "friendship"!
4. THE BLUNDER IN GERMANY'S CONTEMPT OF ENGLAND.
Among fighters, only the fool will underrate his adversary. Per contra, it is only the fool who overestimates his own strength. The Germans of Germany made both those blunders.
The German navy is a strange mixture, of brave men and cowards, of gallant gentlemen and murderous curs; and all of them are directed by asses. No sooner is a gallant feat of seamanship recorded and acclaimed than it is completely beclouded and besmirched by some act of dirty cruelty which turns admiration into loathing. The history of German naval doings in this war is like a checkerboard of black and white squares; but the few remaining white squares are rapidly turning black.
In commerce-raiding the Germans are great; and the U-boat is a wonder. The more humble the prey, the better for the boat. But the U-boat is mighty careful not to tackle a destroyer, and take a sporting chance; and when he finds that his tramp-freighter prey is armed, he feels that he is indeed in hard luck. His favorite warfare is fighting, with torpedoes and guns galore, unarmed fishing smacks and rusty tramp steamers. His favorite order is: "Fire when you see them spit on the bait!"
And now he has taken on the habit of shelling life-boats loaded to the gunwales with helpless crews, and sending them all to the bottom. Sometimes the gallant U-boat captain comes close up, and he and his crew come out and jeer at drowning men and women as they struggle in icy waters.
The German High Seas Fleet is grand—at running for cover whenever the British get a chance at it. The manner in which the Bluecher was left to its fate while all the other gallant battleships of the German fleet madly scuttled for the Kiel Canal, had its comical side; but it was truly typical of the Kaiser's navy. It is said that after that event Tirpitz provided his naval code with a new signal, reading, "Every man for himself, and England take the hindmost."