To burgle certain premises, but drink being in his head,

Mistook the house, attacked his own, and burgled it instead!

Now this is queer; but I have here, a very antient law,

And from its context, you will mark, I this deduction draw,

That should a man by suicide, attempt to sneak away,

From curses that grow thick on him, we make the coward stay,

And if a man by putty nose, and mask, and diamond ring,

Do burgle his own home, It's just a similar sort of thing,

And so unto the upper house, for thy remaining years,

I sentence thee!" and with his wig, the judge mopped up his tears.