LAID out pounds, and pounds,
In entertainment rounds,
And worked a score of credit pretty thick,
For I heard she had a plumb,
So invited her to come,
To the altar at shortest notice quick,
When I asked her for my plumb,
She was all but deaf and dumb,
I found that I was married thro' a trick,
To have lifted off the shelf,
A maiden without pelf,
Was unbusiness-like, I felt it was a stick,
Of the candle, all I had was but the wick,
A moody retrospection, makes me sick!
A WARD IN THE CHANCERIE
He WAS a cabman grey I feck,
All weird and wry to see;
His face was ribbed like the turtle's neck,
His nose like the strawberrie.