No answer; only silence, the beautiful head bent low over the table. She looked so young and helpless, as I looked at her, that my great love surged over all barriers, and swept everything before it, as the angry ocean beats down its puny bulwarks and breaks upon the land.
"I have a story to tell thee," I said, in a low voice—"one that I have treasured long."
"No!" she cried, lifting her head, and I could see her wet eyes and the tear stains upon her cheeks. "Spare me now—it is useless," she said hurriedly.
"I know it is, Margaret," I said sadly. "But it is because it is so useless that I wish thee to know it, it can harm no one. To-morrow I will have passed from thy life forever; will be as last summer's flowers faded and gone, and yet I wish thee to know of what thou hast been to me. How when I was tempted sorely, and ready to yield, thy pure, sweet face would rise before me, and I, strengthened, would overcome the temptation. How often in the watches of the night, when all was quiet, with none but the silent stars to keep me company, I would think of thee, glad that the same sky hung over both, that we breathed the same air, and that the same sun shone above us. Wilt thou not hear me?"
"How can I help myself," she moaned, "if thou wilt force me to hear thee. But I warn thee beforehand that it is useless."
"I had never been a lady's man in my youth," I said, rising and beginning to pace the floor. "I was ever too rough, too shy, to please little lasses. They laughed at me and mocked my uncouth ways. Even when I was a mere lad, when I would bring the small maid whom I admired my little presents, and offer them to her, I felt a great admiration for her that bound my tongue, and I could only hold them out awkwardly. She would take my gifts from me, and then would turn and mock my awkwardness among her playmates, until they shouted with glee. This taught me my first lesson of woman; that she would use thee while she could, and then cast thee aside like a worn-out garment.
"When I had grown larger I went to college, and finishing there, went out into Ireland, and stayed there a year or two in a brief campaign. When I returned to London I had not seen a woman of my own rank for years, but I plunged at once into the gay whirl of London society, and soon knew all the ladies of fashion. There I learned all the tricks of the men of fashion; learned how to play the flirt; how to regard woman as without heart or soul, her mind occupied only with the latest gown from Paris, or the last ball or rout; cold, heartless, only angling to entrap some gentleman, and after entangling him in her net, to calmly show him to the door when he clamored for something more than friendship. If she, to obtain rank or fortune, should finally marry him, it would be only a cold, matter-of-fact trade, a simple transaction of business—her beauty for his title or gold.
"I had seen these newly-wedded husbands remain at home for a few weeks, and then frequent the taverns more assiduously than ever; had heard them tell in their cups of the vixenish temper of Mary, or the nagging tongue of Jane. What wonder that I soon regarded all women as flirts and coquettes, bent only on enjoying themselves, no matter at what expense, and then away to some other flower to sip the honey. For ten years did I linger among them, the gayest of the gay, the petted and humored of the bright dames of fashion. I could cast the most languishing glances, whisper the most burning words into soft ears that bent to listen, and yet it was only Winchester—he was a witty fellow, but he meant nothing and was harmless.
"And then one day I met a maiden, beautiful, lovely; she lured me on by her very beauty, I grew to know her better from day to day; the admiration deepened as I saw her—pure, innocent, and true, never deceiving, never trifling with men's love, always noble, unselfish, and unaffected, never seeming conscious of her great beauty which turned the heads of men. As I knew her better I admired her more, until one day I awoke and found my admiration had ripened into love. Shall I tell thee what it meant to me?—how it brightened life's pathway; how if I could but see one bright face my heart was full to overflowing; how if one was absent from the room it was deserted for me, and how when I was by her side earth was heaven enough for me; how I watched the streets day and night to see her pass, and counted that day well spent when I had seen her face? I treasured her smile as the miser does his gold, and at night counted them over one by one.