"Then drawing towards him a nice sheet of embossed note-paper, he penned the following:—
"'My Dear Madam: Those blue eyes have never ceased to haunt me since we parted. Thank you for your flattering acceptance of my invitation to ride. I will call for you at four this afternoon. Till then, my heart is with you.
"'Yours, ever,
"'Joseph Smith.'
"Full two mortal hours Joseph spent at his 'twilight,' adorning his outer man. How those whiskers were curled and perfumed! What a fit were those primrose kid gloves! How immaculate was that shirt bosom! How excruciatingly those boots pinched! The very horses pricked up their ears and arched their necks proudly, as if they knew what a freight of loveliness they were to carry.
"Arrived at the widow's Joseph handed the reins to a servant and was settling his pet curl, preparatory to mounting the stairs, when a letter was rudely thrust into his hand, and he was unceremoniously seized by that dickey and sent spinning out upon the side-walk. As soon as he recovered breath, he picked himself up, and looked at the letter. Horror of horrors! He had placed the letters in the wrong envelopes! The widow had his wife's, and what was worse, his wife the widow's! Oh, Smith! Oh, Joseph Smith!
"Moral.—Some think it wise to use envelopes, 'some othewise.' Joseph inclines to the latter opinion, and advises all 'pattern husbands' to be of the same mind. His message hails from California!"
XXVIII.
FEMININE WISDOM.
We insert the following for the special benefit of the ladies. It is true, Fanny very characteristically informs us, that they 'don't all know as much as she does,' but then that is hardly to be expected.
"Tupper, speaking of the choice of a wife, says, 'Hath she wisdom? it is precious, but beware that thou exceed!'