Courtship and marriage are differently arranged among various tribes. The predominant custom is for a man to procure a wife by purchase from her father, thus acquiring a property over which he has absolute control, and which he can barter away or dispose of in any manner he pleases. The example of Powhatan, who was chief ruler over thirty tribes in Virginia at the time of the English colonization, is a case in point. It is said that he always had a multitude of wives about him, and when he wearied of any would distribute them as presents among his principal warriors. In most cases the woman is not consulted at all, the whole transaction being a mercantile one; in others an infant female is betrothed by her father (for a consideration) to some man who requires a wife, either for himself or for his son. The girl remains with her parents until the age of puberty, when the contract is completed, at which time the father often makes a present to the husband equal in value to the price originally paid for his daughter.[337]
Another mode of obtaining a wife is to steal a girl from some neighboring tribe. Captain Clarke, who crossed the Rocky Mountains in the years 1804-1806, as one of the leaders of an expedition ordered by the executive of the United States, records instances of this kind. He says, “One of the Ahnahaways had stolen a Minnetaree girl. The whole nation immediately espoused the quarrel, and one hundred and fifty of the warriors were marching down to avenge the insult. The chief took possession of the girl, and sent her by messengers to the hands of her countrymen in time to avert the threatened calamity.”[338] “A young Minnetaree had carried off the daughter of a chief of the Mandans. The father went to the village and found his daughter, whom he brought home, and at the same time took possession of a horse belonging to the offender. This reprisal satisfied his vengeance. The stealing of young women is one of the most common offenses.”[339]
A more peaceable kind of preliminary to matrimony is for a man desiring a wife to offer a small present to the woman: if she accepts it and offers him one in return, the match is complete; or he may tell her his wishes without any introductory gift, and, if agreeable, she will reply accordingly. Others will not venture to express their thoughts, but will sit quietly by a girl’s side, and, if she does not remove from her seat, her assent is understood to be given.[340] Still another custom is for the lover to enter the woman’s tent at night, bearing a lighted torch. If she allows it to burn, it is a sign that his attentions are not desired; but if she extinguishes it, she thus intimates that he is accepted. It will not require much knowledge of human nature to imagine the consequences of these nocturnal visits.
A recently published work, “Life and Adventures of James P. Beckwourth, New York, 1856,” professes to give an accurate account of the domestic life of the Crow Indians, among whom he lived for some years, and became a chief of the tribe, who believed that he was one of themselves, and had been stolen from them in infancy. It may be necessary to say that we only quote him on points where corroborative evidence can be obtained from other sources. His character for veracity is questionable, and among the miners of California, where he is known, any extravagant tale is proverbially called “one of Jem Beckwourth’s lies.” His first experience of matrimony, showing that the woman’s consent was not asked, but that the arrangements were made by the parents, is thus stated: “While conversing with my father, he suddenly demanded if I wanted a wife; I assented. ‘Very well,’ said he, ‘you shall have a pretty wife and a good one.’ Away he strode to the lodge of one of the greatest braves, and asked one of his daughters of him to bestow upon his son. The consent of the parent was readily given. He had three very pretty daughters, and the ensuing day they were brought to my father’s lodge, and I was requested to take my choice. The eldest was named ‘Still Water,’ and I chose her. The acceptance of my wife was the completion of the ceremony, and I was a married man, as sacredly in their eyes as if the Holy Christian Church had fastened the irrevocable knot upon us.”[341]
Cases are also recorded by Indian travelers wherein a custom more assimilating to civilized notions is adopted. A young man will court a girl for a length of time, using all his endeavors to cultivate her affections, and the woman, upon her part, will entertain an equal tenderness for him. Again turning to the pages of Beckwourth, we find an instance of this in the case of a woman who attracted his attention. It must not be considered that he was a victim of the romantic affliction called “first love,” for he had some six or eight wives in the tribe at the time. His description is as follows:
“In connection with my Indian experience, I conceive it to be my duty to devote a few lines to one of the bravest women that ever lived, namely, ‘Pine Leaf’—in Indian, Barcheeampe. She possessed great intellectual powers; her features were pleasing, and her form symmetrical. She had lost a twin brother in an attack on the village, and was left to avenge his death. She was at that time twelve years of age, and solemnly vowed that she would never marry until she had killed a hundred of the enemy with her own hand. Whenever a war-party started, Pine Leaf was the first to volunteer to accompany them.... She had chosen my party to serve in.... I began to feel more than a common attachment toward her. One day, while riding leisurely along, I asked her to marry me, provided we both returned safe. She laughed and said, ‘Well, I will marry you.’ ‘When we return?’ ‘No, but when the pine leaves turn yellow.’ I reflected that it would soon be winter, and regarded her promise as valid. A few days afterward it occurred to me that pine leaves do not turn yellow, and I saw I had been practiced upon. When I again spoke to her on the subject, I said, ‘Pine Leaf, you promised to marry me when the pine leaves turn yellow; it has occurred to me that they never turn yellow. Am I to understand that you never intend to marry me?’ ‘Yes, I will marry you,’ she said, with a coquettish smile. ‘But when?’ ‘When you shall find a redheaded Indian.’ I saw I advanced nothing by importuning her, and I let the matter rest.”[342]
It would occupy too much space to recite all the details of a long courtship, including scenes in war and chase, at the camp, or on horse-stealing excursions; suffice it to say that the heroine accomplished her vow, and seemed convinced of the sincerity of her lover. She concluded the courtship thus:
“She then approached me, every eye being intently fixed upon her. ‘Look at me,’ she said. ‘I know that your heart is crying for the follies of the people; but let it cry no more. I am yours, after you have so long been seeking me. I believe you love me. Our lodge shall be a happy one, and, when you depart to the happy hunting-ground, I will be already there to welcome you. This day I become your wife.’”[343]
Women will sometimes voluntarily ask men to marry them, promising to be faithful, good-tempered, and obedient. This request is seldom refused, as the marriage tie is easily dissolved if the union proves unpleasant. Tanner, who was taken prisoner by a war-party, and lived among various tribes in the northwest for nearly thirty years, relates a case in point. The woman’s endeavors to secure him as her husband commenced with an invitation to smoke with her. He acceded; but either his blood was not so warm as that coursing through Indian veins, or from some other cause, it was long before he consented to the proposed companionship, which a Red Man would have accepted on the spot. The girl resolutely pursued him, and at last, with the consent of her father, took possession of his hut while he was absent. When he returned, “he could not put the young woman to shame” by sending her back to her friends, and so they became man and wife.[344]
Beckwourth also had some experience of this custom. “A little girl, who had often asked me to marry her, came to me one day, and with every importunity insisted on my accepting her as my wife. I said, ‘When you are older I will talk to you about it;’ but she would not be put off. ‘You are a great brave,’ she said; ‘and, if I am your wife, you will paint my face when you return from the war, and I shall be proud.’ The little innocent used such powerful appeals that I told her she might be my wife.”[345] He lived with her until he left the Indians, and her son is now (1855) chief of the tribe.