He noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and keeps his self-made laws.
All other Life is living Death, a world where none but Phantoms dwell.
A breath, a wind, a sound, a voice, a tinkling of the Camel's bell."
The difference between Egoism and Egotism consists largely of the difference between Self-Respect and Approbativeness. Develop the first, and restrain the second—if you wish to become an Individual. And the successful Salesman is always an Individual—standing out from and above the crowd of the "mere persons" or "order-takers." Be a Man, and not a human looking glass reflecting the ideas, opinions, and wishes of all those around you. Be creative, not imitative. Flattery is the food for apes, not for men.
Personal Expression. While one's personal expression in the direction of clothing, walk, voice, etc., can scarcely be called mental qualities, yet they must be considered as expressions of mental qualities—outward manifestations of inward states. So true is this that people naturally judge one's character by these outward expressions. And, moreover, there is a subtle reaction of one's outward manifestations upon one's mental states. One's walk, carriage and demeanor influence one's mental attitude, as we may prove by changing these outward manifestations and noting our changed feelings. As someone has said: "The consciousness of being well dressed imparts a certain serenity and peace which even religion sometimes fails to give us."
And, as for physical attitudes, etc., hear what several eminent psychologists tell us. Prof. Halleck says: "By inducing an expression we can often cause its allied emotion." Prof. James says: "Whistling to keep up courage is no mere figure of speech. On the other hand, sit all day in a moping posture, sigh, and reply to everything with a dismal voice, and your melancholy lingers. There is no more valuable precept in moral education than this: If we wish to conquer undesirable emotional tendencies in ourselves we must assiduously, and in the first instance cold-bloodedly, go through the outward movements, of those contrary dispositions which we wish to cultivate. Smooth the brow, brighten the eye, contract the dorsal rather than the ventral aspect of the frame, and speak in a major key, pass the genial compliment and your heart must indeed be frigid if it does not gradually thaw."
Dr. Woods Hutchinson says: "To what extent muscular contractions condition emotions, as Prof. James has suggested, may be easily tested by a quaint and simple little experiment upon a group of the smallest voluntary muscles of the body, those that move the eyeball. Choose some time when you are sitting quietly in your room, free from all disturbing thoughts and influences. Then stand up, and assuming an easy position, cast the eyes upward, and hold them in that position for thirty seconds. Instantly and involuntarily you will be conscious of a tendency toward reverential, devotional, contemplative ideas and thoughts. Then turn the eyes sideways, glancing directly to the right or to the left, through half-closed lids. Within thirty seconds images of suspicion, of uneasiness, or of dislike will rise unbidden to the mind. Turn the eyes on one side and slightly downward, and suggestions of jealousy or coquetry will be apt to spring unbidden. Direct your gaze downward toward the floor, and you are likely to go off into a fit of reverie or abstraction." Maudsley says: "The specific muscular action is not merely an exponent of passion, but truly an essential part of it. If we try while the features are fixed in the expression of one passion to call up in the mind a different one, we shall find it impossible to do so."
In view of the above statements, we may readily see the importance of cultivating those outward expressions which are co-related to desirable mental states or feelings. By so doing we arouse in our minds those particular states or feelings. And, moreover, we tend to impress others with the possession on our part of the co-related mental qualities. One's outward expression is a powerful instrument of suggestion to others, and people are unconsciously and instinctively affected by it, to our benefit or detriment. Let us therefore consider, briefly, the general principles underlying personal expression along the lines indicated.
Carriage and Walk. In the first part of the previous chapter, under the sub-head of "Self-Respect" we have given you the advice of a good authority concerning the proper carriage. The key is: Carry yourself in a manner showing your Self-Respect, Poise, and Consideration of Others. Another authority gives the following directions for the correct position in standing: "(1) Heels together; (2) head up, with chin slightly drawn in rather than protruding; (3) eyes front; (4) shoulders thrown back but not elevated; (5) chest expanded; (6) abdomen slightly drawn in, and not allowed to protrude; (7) arms dropped naturally to the sides, with the little fingers lightly touching the sides of the thigh. This may make you feel a little stiff and awkward at first, but, if you persevere, will soon establish itself as second nature with you."
Another authority says: "The easiest way in which to acquire a correct carriage is to imagine that you are suspended from on high with a line, the lowest end of the line being fastened to the lower end of your breast-bone. If you will stand and walk as if you are so suspended, the result will be that you will acquire an easy, graceful, gliding walk, and a correct carriage and natural position." Another authority gives the following advice: "The following method if observed in walking and standing, will impart a desirable physical poise and will keep you erect and in a graceful attitude while walking: Stand with your back toward the wall, with the heels, legs, hips, shoulders and back of head touching the wall, and with the chin slightly drawn in. Press up against the wall firmly. You will find yourself in an uncomfortable position, and one that is unnatural and incorrect. Then, keeping your heels to the wall, allow your body to swing forward into a natural position, being careful to keep the body firm in the same 'form,' avoiding relaxation, swinging yourself forward from the ankle joints alone. When you find that the correct poised, natural position has been attained, hold it, and march forward in what will be the natural, normal, well-balanced walking position. Practice this repeatedly, several times every day, until you have fully acquired the habit."