"I have no toast. I am a loafer. [Laughter.] I can choose to say what I may—not tied by any text or formula. I know when you look upon old General Sherman, as you seem to call him [Oh, oh!]—pretty young yet, my friends—not all the devil out of me yet, and I hope still to share with you many a festive occasion—whenever you may assemble, wherever the sons of New England may assemble, be it here under this Delmonico roof or in Brooklyn, or even in Boston, I will try to be there. [Applause.]
"My friends, I have had many, many experiences, and it always seems to me easier to recur to some of them when I am on my feet, for they come back to me like the memory of a dream, pleasant to think of. And now to-night, I know the Civil War is uppermost in your minds, although I would banish it as a thing of trade, something too common to my calling: yet I know it pleases the audience to refer to little incidents here and there of the great Civil War, in which I took an humble part. [Applause.] But I remember, one day away down in Georgia, somewhere between, I think, Milledgeville and Milan, I was riding on a good horse and had some friends along with me to keep good fellowship, you know. [Laughter.] A pretty humorous party, clever good fellows. [Renewed laughter.] Riding along, I spied a plantation. I was thirsty, rode up to the gate and dismounted. One of these men with sabres by their side, called orderlies, stood by my horse. I walked up on the porch, where there was an old gentleman, probably sixty years of age, white-haired and very gentle in his manners—evidently a planter of the higher class. I asked him if he would be kind enough to give me some water. He called a boy, and soon he had a bucket of water with a dipper. I then asked for a chair, and called one or two of my officers. Among them was, I think, Dr. John Moore, who recently has been made Surgeon-General of the Army, for which I am very grateful—even to Mr. Cleveland. [Laughter and applause.] He sat on the porch, and the old man held the bucket up to me, and I took a long drink of water and may have lighted a cigar [laughter], and it is possible I may have had a little flask of whiskey along. [Renewed laughter.]
"At all events, I got into a conversation; and the troops drifted along, passing down the roadway closely by fours, and every regiment had its banner, regimental or national, sometimes furled and sometimes afloat. The old gentleman says: 'General, what troops are these passing now?'
As the color-bearer came by, I said: "Throw out your colors. That is the 73d Iowa."
"The 73d Iowa! 73d Iowa! Iowa! 73d! What do you mean by 73d?"
"Well," said I, "habitually a regiment when organized, amounts to 1,000 men."
"Do you pretend to say Iowa has sent 73,000 men into this cruel Civil War?" [Laughter.]
"Why, my friend, I think that may be inferred."
"Well," says he, "Where's Iowa?" [Laughter.]
"Iowa is a State bounded on the east by the Mississippi, on the South by Missouri, on the west by unknown country, and on the north by the North Pole."