The Man Behind the Bars

by Winifred Louise Taylor

Western county homes were at that time hard places; in some respects existence there was harder than in the prison, where restraint and discipline are in a measure a protection, securing a man undisturbed possession of his inner life and thoughts, during working hours at least. The ceaselessly intrusive life of the home, with the lack of discipline and the unrestrained intercourse of inmates, with the idleness and the dirt, is far more demoralizing; crime itself does not sap self-respect like being an idle pauper among paupers. All this could be read between the lines of Wilson's letters.

And now a new dread was taking hold of him. All his hope and ambition had centred in the desire to be good for this life. He had persistently shut out the thought of death as the one thing that would prevent his realizing this desire. Nature and youth clung passionately to life, and all the strength of his will was nerved to resist the advance of disease. But day by day the realization that life was slipping from him forced itself deeper into his consciousness; even for the time discouraging him morally. His high resolves seemed of no avail. It was all of no use. He must die a pauper with no chance to regain his lost manhood; life seemed indeed a hopeless failure. I had supplied Wilson with paper and envelopes, stamped and addressed, that I might never fail of hearing from him directly or through others; but there came an interval of several weeks when I heard nothing, although writing regularly. Perplexed, as well as anxious, in my determination to break the silence at all hazards, I wrote a somewhat peremptory letter. The answer came by return mail, but it was the keeper of the county home who wrote that Wilson had written regularly and that he was very unhappy over my last letter, adding:

"He says that if this room was filled with money it would not tempt him to neglect his best friend; and when I told him that this room was pretty big and would hold a lot of money he said that didn't make any difference."

I could not be reconciled to Wilson's dying in that place, and when the spring days came he was sent to Chicago, where his entrance to a hospital had been arranged. It was an April afternoon when I found him in one of the main wards of the hospital, a large room flooded with sunshine and fresh air. Young women, charming in their nurses' uniform, with skilled and gentle hands, were the ministering spirits there; the presiding genius a beautiful Philadelphian whose gracious tranquillity was in itself a heavenly benediction to the sick and suffering among whom she lived. On a table beside Wilson's bed trailing arbutus was filling the air with fragrance and telling the story of spring.

Wilson was greatly altered; but his face was radiant in the gladness of our meeting. For weeks previous he had not been able to write me of his thoughts or feelings, and I do not know when the change came. But it was clearly evident that, as death approached, he had turned to meet it; and had found, as so many others have found, that death no longer seemed an enemy and the end of all things, but a friend who was leading the way to fuller life; he assumed that I understood all this; he would have found it difficult to express it in words; but he had much to tell me of all those around him, and wished to share with me the friendships he had formed in the hospital; and I was interested in the way the quality of the man's nature had made itself felt among nurses and patients alike.

One of the patients who had just been discharged came to the bedside to bid him good-by; Wilson grasped his hand and in a few earnest words reminded him of promises given in a previous conversation. With broken voice the man renewed his promises, and left with his eyes full of tears. He was unable to utter the good-by he had come to give.

At the close of my visit Wilson insisted upon giving me the loveliest cluster of his arbutus; while Miss Alden, the Philadelphian, sanctioned with a smile his sharing of her gift with another.

As Miss Alden went with me to the door she told me of her deep interest in Wilson, and of the respect and affection he had won from all who had come in contact with him. "The nurses consider it a pleasure to do anything for one who asks so little and is so grateful," she said. Though knowing that he had been in prison, Miss Alden was surprised to learn that Wilson was not a man of education. His use of English, the general tone of his thoughts and conversation, had classed him as a man familiar with good literature and refined associations. She, too, had felt in him a certain spiritual strength, and was touched by his loyalty to me, which seemed never obscured by his gratitude to others. She believed that only the strength of his desire to see me once again had kept him in this world for the previous week.

The next morning Wilson was visibly weaker; the animation caused by the excitement of seeing me the day before was gone; but the spiritual peace and strength which had come to him were the more evident.

At his dictation I wrote a last message to Newton, and directions as to the disposal of his clothing, to be given to patients whose needs he had discovered. He expressed a wish to leave some little remembrances for each of the nurses; there were six to whom he felt particularly indebted. There was Miss Stevens, "who has been so very kind at night"; every one had her special claim, and I promised that each should receive some token of his gratitude.