The most dreaded tortures in all this wide earth
That to all greatest SORROWS are prone to give birth
Are bad tears and temper, the two ugly T's
Invented by GOBLINS for mortals to tease.
A BOY'S COMPLAINT
Grandma calls me Johnnie, father calls me John,
My sweetheart calls me Buddy, and the boys call me Don,
But Mother, oh, dear Mother, whenever I come near,