The Christmas Virus is upon is. So is the anticipated New Years
Eve and New Year's Day Virus.
Seems like wherever I look, someone is making a virus to attack my computer or celebrate a holiday.
Rather than another rash of warnings about the impending doom and gloom faced by your computers, my editor asked me to find the lighter side of computer viruses. I strongly objected, stating that I found nothing amusing about them. They were a deadly and cowardly form of terrorism that should be rewarded with behead- ing.
However, there is one thing . . .
The geniuses who come up with the names for viral infections; about as believable and laughable as a Batman comic.
I wonder what most of us would think if our doctor told us we had the Ping Pong virus instead of strep throat. Or in spring time we contracted the April Fool's Virus.
It is entirely within the realm of reason that America's comput- ers go unprotected because of the sheer absurdity of the names we attach to each one. Comical names create a comical situation, so no one takes the issue seriously.
The Marijuana virus conjures up images of a stoned orgy, and why would a computer care about that. The Fu Manchu virus conjures up the Red Chinese Army crossing the Mississippi, which is clear- ly not the case, so it is ignored.
Viruses know no national boundary. The Pakistani virus, the Icelandic, the Israeli, Jerusalem A, Jerusalem B, Jerusalem C, Lehigh, Alameda, Vienna, Czech, Rumanian - I found over 900 current and active viruses that are identified by their reputed place of origin.
The Brain virus sounds more sinister than the Stoned Virus, and
Friday the 13th viruses are as popular as the movie sequels. The
Columbus Day Virus was actually dubbed by its authors as Data
Crime, and might have generated more concern if not for the nick-
nom-de-plume it inherited.