“‘Poof!’ blew out through his bewhiskered mouth, expressing utmost disdain and indignation. Then he totally ignored my presence, and picking up the hamper, he set it before him. The crucial moment had come, and I must confess that I felt a few creeps of apprehension go over me. As for his Royal Highness, his whole attitude was of great hunger about to be satisfied.
“It showed in his popped eyes and the workings of his large, full-lipped mouth. Then he flung back the top of the hamper and leaned forward eagerly. If his first amazement was utter this was too utter. He sat bolt upright for a second, then he dived at the basket again. He poked around in it. He shook it vigorously, but no provisions miraculously appeared. It was appalling, beyond belief. He took out a small mirror and regarded himself very carefully, and then solemnly he nodded. It was none other than himself, his Royal Highness Michael Palanovitch, and this before him was his Honorable Hamper, but like old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard, it was entirely bare. It was too much for my sense of humor and from my corner there came a suppressed snort.
“Instantly his Royal Highness grasped the situation and I thought that he was going to grasp me at the same time. I never saw such rage and I immediately became very sober and entirely innocent. He stormed, he raved, I am afraid he swore, though I could not understand all he said. It was a roar of sound and a frazzle of language. He tore at his hair and raged like a caged lion.
“I saw visions of the knout and exile in Siberia. I protested my innocence, and my profound sorrow at the sad state of his larder. I used both language and pantomime. ‘I am an American, Monsieur,’ I cried, ‘I cannot eat anything cooked in Russia, it does not agree with me.’ I protested with such vehemence and with such utter innocence that his Highness finally quieted down, partly from sheer exhaustion, possibly from lack of food.” There was a twinkle in the speaker’s eye, and the boys roared. “When he had become quiet, I, with a low bow, went to the hamper and produced the piece of chicken that was left and presented it to him with much humility.
“His amazement knew no bounds at this performance of mine, and his face showed it. Then his mood suddenly changed, and he burst into homeric laughter. It was so extraordinary, that it struck him as humorous. Part of the joke being that I was a foreigner, especially an American, of whom anything might be expected. On the basis of this incident he immediately accepted me into a jovial comradeship. Whenever it struck him he would burst into a roar of laughter. So, behold me, when the train finally did stop at a brilliantly lighted station, wherein was a really palatial dining-room, walking arm in arm with his Royal Highness, Archduke Michael, and receiving the salutes of the soldiery and the plaudits of admiring citizens.”