Yen Hui said to Confucius, "When Mêng Sun Ts'ai's mother died, he wept, but without snivelling;
Which the Chinese regard as the test of real sorrow.
he grieved but his grief was not heartfelt; he wore mourning but without howling. Yet although wanting in these three points, he is considered the best mourner in the State of Lu. Surely this is the name and not the reality. I am astonished at it."
"Mêng Sun," said Confucius, "did all that was required. He has made an advance towards wisdom.
Towards Tao, wherein there is no weeping nor gnashing of teeth.
He could not do less;
Than mourn outwardly, for fear of committing a breach of social etiquette, in harmony if not in accordance with which the true Sage passes his life.
while all the time actually doing less.
As seen from the absence of those signs which prove inward grief.