“Oh, what heavenly bliss I am beginning to feel now!” was the thought that flashed upon me all at once.
Yes, the narcotic was acting already. Everything in me that was evil, or pained, or imperfect, had vanished away. I was filled with light—a chilly splendour, supremely contemptuous of all things, supremely blissful.
The chill had spread around me. There was,—in the wide-open, quiescent eyes of all those men, gazing as in a hypnotic trance upon the miracle of female beauty which they beheld,—the uncanny greenish light which certain gases in slow combustion give out. We were in an atmosphere of superhuman delight; a delight that was not earthly; the sempiternally fascinating delight of Non-Existence.
There was a hearkening to the silence, and a listening with riveted and petrified attention. The least little murmur of life gave pain. No one was allowed into the studio; black coffee was poured out by Radlowski and Gina, and brought to each of us by them. And soft and low fell slowly from our lips words as of silken tissue, containing thoughts of delicate essence, recondite and shrouded in mystery.
The unknown blonde was saying to Emma:
“At such moments as these, I never give one thought to my lover.... I wish to feel no love for him, in order that I may dream of Love itself.... I see a land such as on earth there is none: where a Not-sun shines, and where Not-flowers have fragrance! A vision!... I behold a lover who is not of the earth, and him alone I love.... In a vision.... In my slumbers!”
“There is nothing in the world,” said Emma, “so beautiful as that which is not in it.... Oh, how sweet is the craving after the love that is nowhere to be found!”
We were all experiencing an extraordinary and ecstatic glow: and in our state nothing appeared too naïve or too exalté.
I felt full of kindly inclination towards these people, and of deep gratitude as well, because they were all in such harmony with one another. It was almost pure ideal friendship, based on community of admirations and disdains, and mutually uniting all those of the same caste: the cool and egotistical friendship which one demigod may feel for another.
The slenderly built young man whom I have mentioned leant forward to me: