THE DODGE CLUB, OR, ITALY IN MDCCCLIX.
by
James De Mille
Author of "Cord and Creese; or, the Brandon Mystery," etc., etc
With One Hundred Illustrations
New York:
Harper & Brothers Publishers,
Franklin Square
1872.
CONTENTS.
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PARIS.--THE DODGE CLUB.--HOW TO SPEAK FRENCH.--HOW TO RAISE A CROWD.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Dick!--Here I Invite My Friends.--The Club.--The Place Vendôme.--Keep It Buttons!
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ORLEANS.--HOW TO QUELL A LANDLORD.--HOW TO FIGHT OFF HUMBUGS; AND HOW TO TRAVEL WITHOUT BAGGAGE.
ILLUSTRATIONS. That's A Hotel Bill.--Cicero Against Verres. --Sac-r-r-r-ré.
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THE RHONE IN A RAIN.--THE MAD FRENCHMAN.--SUICIDE A CAPITAL CRIME IN FRANCE.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Number 729.--Horror! Despair!
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MARSEILLES.
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THE RETIRED ORGAN-GRINDER.--THE SENATOR PHILOSOPHIZES.--EVILS OF NOT HAVING A PASSPORT.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Those Italians.--Genoa, The Superb.
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LAZARONI AND MACARONI.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Their Noble Excellencies.--Lazaroni And Macaroni.
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DOLORES.--AN ITALIAN MAID LEARNS ENGLISH.--A ROMANTIC ADVENTURE.--A MASQUERADE, AND WHAT BEFELL THE SENATOR.--A CHARMING DOMINO.--A MOONLIGHT WALK, AND AN ASTOUNDING DISCOVERY.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Yankee Doodle.--I Kiss Hands.--The Young Hussar.--A Perplexed Senator.--Exit Senator.
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ADVENTURES AND MISADVENTURES.--A WET GROTTO AND A BOILING LAKE.--THE TWO FAIR SPANIARDS, AND THE DONKEY RIDE.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Darn it!--Don't.--Thump!--A Trying Moment.--Senator And Donkey.
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A DRIVE INTO THE COUNTRY.--A FIGHT WITH A VETTURINO.--THE EFFECT OF EATING "HARD BOILED EGGS."--WHAT THEY SAW AT PAESTUM.--FIVE TEMPLES AND ONE "MILL."
ILLUSTRATIONS. Do You See That?--The Mill At Paestum.
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ON THE WATER, WHERE BUTTONS SEES A LOST IDEA AND GIVES CHASE TO IT, TOGETHER WITH THE HEART-SICKENING RESULTS THEREOF.
ILLUSTRATIONS. The Spaniards.--A Thousand Pardons!
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THE SENATOR HAS SUCH A FANCY FOR SEEKING USEFUL INFORMATION!--CURIOUS POSITION OF A WISE, AND WELL-KNOWN, AND DESERVEDLY-POPULAR LEGISLATOR, AND UNDIGNIFIED MODE OF HIS ESCAPE.
ILLUSTRATIONS. The Senator.
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HERCULANEUM AND POMPEII, AND ALL THAT THE SIGHT OF THOSE FAMOUS PLACES PRODUCED ON THE MINDS OF THE DODGE CLUB.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Villa Of Diomedes.--Phew!--A Street In Pompeii.
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VESUVIUS.--WONDERFUL ASCENT OF THE CONE.--WONDERFUL DESCENT INTO THE CRATER.--AND MOST WONDERFUL DISAPPEARANCE OF MR. FIGGS, AFTER WHOM ALL HIS FRIENDS GO, WITH THEIR LIVES IN THEIR HANDS.--GREAT SENSATION AMONG SPECTATORS.
ILLUSTRATIONS. The Ascent Of Vesuvius.--The Descent Of Vesuvius.--Where's Figgs?--Mr Figgs.--The Ladies.
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MAGNIFICENT ATTITUDE OF THE SENATOR; BRILLIANCY OF BUTTONS; AND PLUCK OF THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE CLUB: BY ALL OF WHICH THE GREATEST EFFECTS ARE PRODUCED.
ILLUSTRATIONS. The Bandits Captured.--Sold.
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DOLORES ONCE MORE.--A PLEASANT CONVERSATION.--BUTTONS LEARNS MORE OF HIS YOUNG FRIEND.--AFFECTING FAREWELL.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Two Piastres!--The Brave Soldier.
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DICK RELATES A FAMILY LEGEND.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Buying A Whale.--The Long-Lost Son.
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NIGHT ON THE ROAD.--THE CLUB ASLEEP.--THEY ENTER ROME.--THOUGHTS ON APPROACHING AND ENTERING "THE ETERNAL CITY."
ILLUSTRATIONS. To Rome.
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A LETTER BY DICK, AND CRITICISMS OF HIS FRIENDS.
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ST. PETER'S!--THE TRAGIC STORY OF THE FAT MAN IN THE BALL.--HOW ANOTHER TRAGEDY NEARLY HAPPENED.--THE WOES OF MEINHERR SCHATT.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Gracious Me!
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THE GLORY, GRANDEUR, BEAUTY, AND INFINITE VARIETY OF THE PINCIAN HILL; NARRATED AND DETAILED NOT COLUMNARILY BUT EXHAUSTIVELY, AND AFTER THE MANNER OF RABELAIS.
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HARMONY ON THE PINCIAN HILL.--MUSIC HATH CHARMS.--AMERICAN MELODIES. --THE GLORY, THE POWER, AND THE BEAUTY OF YANKEE DOODLE, AND THE MERCENARY SOUL OF AN ITALIAN ORGAN-GRINDER.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Old Virginny.
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HOW A BARGAIN IS MADE.--THE WILES OF THE ITALIAN TRADESMAN.--THE NAKED SULKY BEGGAR, AND THE JOVIAL WELL-CLAD BEGGAR.--WHO IS THE KING OF BEGGARS?
ILLUSTRATIONS. The Shrug.
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THE MANIFOLD LIFE OF THE CAFÉ NUOVO, AND HOW THEY RECEIVED THE NEWS ABOUT MAGENTA.--EXCITEMENT.--ENTHUSIASM.--TEARS.--EMBRACES.
ILLUSTRATIONS. News Of Magenta!
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CHECKMATE!
ILLUSTRATIONS. Before And After.
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BUTTONS A MAN OF ONE IDEA.--DICK AND HIS MEASURING TAPE.--DARK EYES. --SUSCEPTIBLE HEART.--YOUNG MAIDEN WHO LIVES OUT OF TOWN.--GRAND COLLISION OF TWO ABSTRACTED LOVERS IN THE PUBLIC STREETS.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Away!--Pepita.
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CONSEQUENCES OF BEING GALLANT IN ITALY, WHERE THERE ARE LOVERS, HUSBANDS, BROTHERS, FATHERS, COUSINS, AND INNUMERABLE OTHER RELATIVES AND CONNECTIONS, ALL READY WITH THE STILETTO.
ILLUSTRATIONS. An Interruption.
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DICK ON THE SICK LIST.--RAPTURE OF BUTTONS AT MAKING AN IMPORTANT DISCOVERY.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Poor Dick!
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WHAT KIND OF A LETTER THE SENATOR WROTE FOR THE "NEW ENGLAND PATRIOT," WHICH SHOWS A TRITE, LIBERAL, UNBIASED, PLAIN, UNVARNISHED VIEW OF ROME.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Sketches By A Friend.
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THE LONELY ONE AND HIS COMFORTER.--THE TRUE MEDICINE FOR A SICK MAN.
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OCCUPATIONS AND PEREGRINATIONS OF BUTTONS.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Buttons and Murray.
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BUTTONS ACTS THE GOOD SAMARITAN, AND LITERALLY UNEARTHS A MOST UNEXPECTED VICTIM OF AN ATROCIOUS ROBBERY.--GR-R-R-A-CIOUS ME!
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ANOTHER DISCOVERY MADE BY BUTTONS.
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[Transcriber's Note: Transliteration of Greek.] Brekekek koax koax koax. [TN: /end Greek.]
ILLUSTRATIONS. Brekekekek koax koax!
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THE SENATOR PURSUES HIS INVESTIGATIONS.--AN INTELLIGENT ROMAN TOUCHES A CHORD IN THE SENATOR'S HEART THAT VIBRATES.--RESULTS OF THE VIBRATION.--A VISIT FROM THE ROMAN POLICE; AND THE GREAT RACE DOWN THE CORSO BETWEEN THE SENATOR AND A ROMAN SPY.--GLEE OF THE POPULACE!--HI! HI!
ILLUSTRATIONS. Got You There!--Walking Spanish.
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DICK MAKES ANOTHER EFFORT, AND BEGINS TO FEEL ENCOURAGED.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Dick Thinks It Over. The Senator In A Bad Fix.--The Senator In A Worse Fix.
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_ROME_.--_ANCIENT HISTORY_.--THE PREHISTORIC ERA.--CRITICAL EXAMINATION OF NIEBUHR AND HIS SCHOOL.--THE EARLY HISTORY OF ROME PLACED ON A RIGHT BASIS.--EXPLANATION OF HISTORY OF REPUBLIC. --NAPOLEON'S "CAESAR."--THE IMPERIAL REGIME.--THE NORTHERN BARBARIANS.--RISE OF THE PAPACY.--MEDIAEVAL ROME.
_TOPOGRAPHY_.--TRUE ADJUSTMENT OF BOUNDS OF ANCIENT CITY.--ITS PROBABLE POPULATION.--_GEOLOGY_.--EXAMINATION OF FORMATION.--TUFA TRAVERTINE.--ROMAN CEMENT.--TERRA-COTTA. _SPECIAL CONSIDERATION OF ROMAN CATACOMBS_.--BOSIO.--ARRINGHI.--CARDINAL WISEMAN.--RECENT EXPLORATIONS, INVESTIGATIONS, EXAMINATIONS, EXHUMATIONS, AND RESUSCITATIONS.--EARLY CHRISTIAN HISTORY SET ON A TRUE BASIS. --RELICS.--MARTYRS.--REAL ORIGIN OF CATACOMBS.--TRUE AND RELIABLE EXTENT (WITH MAPS).
_REMARKS ON ART_.--THE RENAISSANCE.--THE EARLY PAINTERS: CIMABUE, GIOTTO, PERUGINO, RAFAELLE SANZIO, MICHELANGELO BUONAROTTI.--THE TRANSFIGURATION.--THE MOSES OF MICHELANGELO.--BELLINI.--SAINT PETER'S, AND MORE PARTICULARLY THE COLONNADE.--THE LAST JUDGMENT. --DANTE.--THE MEDIAEVAL SPIRIT.--EFFECT OF GOTHIC ART ON ITALY AND ITALIAN TASTE.--COMPARISON, OF LOMBARD WITH SICILIAN CHURCHES.--TO WHAT EXTENT ROME INFLUENCED THIS DEVELOPMENT.--THE FOSTERING SPIRIT OF THE CHURCH.--ALL MODERN ART CHRISTIAN.--WHY THIS WAS A NECESSITY. --FOLLIES OF MODERN CRITICS.--REYNOLDS AND RUSKIN.--HOW FAR POPULAR TASTE IS WORTH ANY THING.--CONCLUDING REMARKS OF A MISCELLANEOUS DESCRIPTION.
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ITALIAN TRAVEL, ROADS, INNS.--A GRAND BREAKDOWN.--AN ARMY OF BEGGARS.--SIX MEN HUNTING UP A CARRIAGE WHEEL; AND PLANS OF THE SENATOR FOR THE GOOD OF ITALY.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Travelling In Italy.--The Senator's Escort.
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TRIUMPHANT PROGRESS OF DICK.--GENDARMES FOILED.--THE DODGE CLUB IS ATTACKED BY BRIGANDS, AND EVERY MAN OF IT COVERS HIMSELF WITH GLORY.--SCREAM OF THE AMERICAN EAGLE!
ILLUSTRATIONS. Dick In His Glory.--Pietro.--The Barricade.
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PLEASANT MEDIATIONS ABOUT THE WONDERS OF TOBACCO; AND THREE PLEASANT ANECDOTES BY AN ITALIAN BRIGAND.
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FINAL ATTACK OF REINFORCEMENTS OF BRIGANDS.--THE DODGE CLUB DEFIES THEM AND REPELS THEM.--HOW TO MAKE A BARRICADE.--FRATERNIZATION OF AMERICAN EAGLE AND GALLIC COCK.--THERE'S NOTHING LIKE LEATHER.
ILLUSTRATIONS. An International Affair.
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FLORENCE.--DESPERATION OF BUTTONS, OF MR. FIGGS, AND OF THE DOCTOR.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Florence From San Miniato.--Pitti Palace.--Fountain Of Neptune, Palazzo Vecchio.--The Duomo.--The Campanile.--Trozzi Palace. --Buttons Melancholy.
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THE SENATOR ENTRAPPED.--THE WILES AND WITCHERY OF A QUEEN OF SOCIETY. --HIS FATE DESTINED TO BE, AS HE THINKS, ITALIAN COUNTESSES. --SENTIMENTAL CONVERSATION.--POETRY.--BEAUTY.--MOONLIGHT.--RAPTURE. --DISTRACTION.--BLISS!
ILLUSTRATIONS. La Cica.
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"MORERE DIAGORA, NON ENIM IN COELUM ADSCENSURUS ES."--THE APOTHEOSIS OF THE SENATOR (NOTHING LESS--IT WAS A MOMENT IN WHICH A MAN MIGHT WISH TO DIE--THOUGH, OF COURSE, THE SENATOR DIDN'T DIE).
ILLUSTRATIONS. Solferino!--The Senator Speaks.
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THE PRIVATE OPINION OF THE DOCTOR ABOUT FOREIGN TRAVEL.--BUTTONS STILL MEETS WITH AFFLICTIONS.
ILLUSTRATIONS. A Grease Spot.--Farewell, Figgs!
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A MEMORABLE DRIVE.--NIGHT.--THE BRIGANDS ONCE MORE.--GARIBALDI'S NAME.--THE FIRE.--THE IRON BAR.--THE MAN FROM THE GRANITE STATE AND HIS TWO BOYS.
ILLUSTRATIONS. In The Coach.--A Free Fight.--Don't Speak.
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BAD BRUISES, BUT GOOD MUSES.--THE HONORABLE SCABS OF DICK.--A KNOWLEDGE OF BONES.
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SUFFERING AND SENTIMENT AT BOLOGNA.--MOONSHINE.--BEST BALM FOR WOUNDS.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Used Up.
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CROSSING INTO THE ENEMY'S COUNTRY.--CONSTERNATION OF THE CUSTOM-HOUSE OFFICERS.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Buttons In Bliss.
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VENICE AND ITS PECULIAR GLORY.--THE DODGE CLUB COME TO GRIEF AT LAST. --UP A TREE.--IN A NET, ETC.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Dick's Luggage.--Arrested.--Silence!
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THE AMERICAN EAGLE AND THE AUSTRIAN DOUBLE-HEADED DITTO.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Don't Try It On With Me.
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THE SENATOR STILL ENGAGED IN FACING DOWN THE AUSTRIAN.--THE AMERICAN CONSUL.--UNEXPECTED RE-APPEARANCE OF FORGOTTEN THINGS.--COLLAPSE OF THE COURT.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Watts Mis-spelled.
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A MYSTERIOUS FLIGHT.--DESPAIR OF BUTTONS.--PURSUIT.--HISTORIC GROUND, AND HISTORIC CITIES.
ILLUSTRATIONS. Formalities.
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DICK MEETS AN OLD FRIEND.--THE EMOTIONAL NATURE OF THE ITALIAN. --THE SENATOR OVERCOME AND DUMBFOUNDED.
ILLUSTRATIONS. The Count Ugo.
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IN WHICH BUTTONS WRITES A LETTER; AND IN WHICH THE CLUB LOSES AN IMPORTANT MEMBER.--SMALL BY DEGREES AND BEAUTIFULLY LESS.
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THE FAITHFUL ONE!--DARTS, DISTRACTION, LOVE'S VOWS, OVERPOWERING SCENE AT THE MEETING OF TWO FOND ONES.--COMPLETE BREAK-DOWN OF THE HISTORIAN.
ILLUSTRATIONS. The Door.
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THE DODGE CLUB IN PARIS ONCE MORE.--BUTTONS'S "JOLLY GOOD HEALTH."
ILLUSTRATIONS. He's A Jolly Good Fellow.
[Illustration: Dick!]
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PARIS.--THE DODGE CLUB.--HOW TO SPEAK FRENCH.--HOW TO RAISE A CROWD.
It is a glorious day in Paris. The whole city is out in the public places, watching the departure of the army of Italy. Every imaginable uniform, on foot and on horseback, enlivens the scene. Zouaves are everywhere. Cent Gardes hurry to and fro, looking ferocious. Imperial Gardes look magnificent. Innumerable little red-legged soldiers of the line dance about, gesticulating vehemently. Grisettes hang about the necks of departing braves. A great many tears are shed, and a great deal of bombast uttered. For the invincible soldiers of France are off to fight for an idea; and doesn't every one of them carry a marshal's baton in his knapsack?
A troop of Cent Gardes comes thundering down in a cloud of dust, dashing the people right and left. Loud cheers arise: "Vive l'Empereur!" The hoarse voices of myriads prolong the yell. It is Louis Napoleon. He touches his hat gracefully to the crowd.
A chasseur leaps into a cab.
"Where shall I take you?"
"To Glory!" shouts the soldier.
The crowd applaud. The cabman drives off and don't want any further direction. Here a big-bearded Zouave kisses his big-bearded brother in a blouse.
"Adieu, mon frère; write me."
"Where shall I write?"
"Direct to Vienna--_poste restante_."
Every body laughs at every thing, and the crowd are quite wild at this.
A young man is perched upon a pillar near the garden wall of the Tuileries. He enjoys the scene immensely. After a while he takes a clay pipe from his pocket and slowly fills it. Having completed this business he draws a match along the stone and is just about lighting his pipe.
"Halloo!"
Down drops the lighted match on the neck of an _ouvrier_. It burns. The man scowls up; but seeing the cause, smiles and waves his hand forgivingly.
"Dick!"
At this a young man in the midst of the crowd stops and looks around. He is a short young man, in whose face there is a strange mixture of innocence and shrewdness. He is pulling a baby-carriage, containing a small specimen of French nationality, and behind him walks a majestic female.
The young man Dick takes a quick survey and recognizes the person who has called him. Down drops the pole of the carriage, and, to the horror of the majestic female, he darts off, and, springing up the pillar, grasps first the foot and then the hand of his friend.
"Buttons!" he cried; "what, you! you here in Paris!"
"I believe I am."
"Why, when did you come?"
"About a month ago."
"I had no idea of it. I didn't know you were here."
"And I didn't know that you were. I thought by this time that you were in Italy. What has kept you here so long?"
Dick looked confused.
"Why the fact is, I am studying German."
"German! in Paris! French, you mean."
"No, German."
"You're crazy; who with?"
Dick nodded his head toward his late companion.
"What, that woman? How she is scowling at us!"
"Is she?" said Dick, with some trepidation.
"Yes. But don't look. Have you been with her all the time?"
"Yes, seven months."
"Studying German!" cried Buttons, with a laugh. "Who is she?"
"Madame Bang."
[Illustration: Here I Invite My Friends.]
"Bang? Well, Madame Bang must look out for another lodger. You must come with me, young man. You need a guardian. It's well that I came in time to rescue you. Let's be off!"
And the two youths descended and were soon lost in the crowd.
***
"Three flights of steps are bad enough; but great Heavens! what do you mean by taking a fellow up to the eighth story?"
Such was the exclamation of Dick as he fell exhausted into a seat in a little room at the top of one of the tallest houses in Paris.
"Economy, my dear boy."
"Ehem!"
"Paris is overflowing, and I could get no other place without paying an enormous price. Now I am trying to husband my means."
"I should think so."
"I sleep here--"
"And have plenty of bedfellows."
"I eat here--"
"The powers of the human stomach are astounding."
"And here I invite my friends."
"Friends only. I should think. Nothing but the truest friendship could make a man hold out in such an ascent."
"But come. What are your plans?"
"I have none."
"Then you must league yourself with me."
"I shall be delighted."
"And I'm going to Italy."
"Then I'm afraid our league is already at an end."
"Why?"
"I haven't money enough."
"How much have you?"
"Only five hundred dollars; I've spent all the rest of my allowance."
"Five hundred? Why, man, I have only four hundred."
"What! and you're going to Italy?"
"Certainly."
"Then I'll go too and run the risk. But is this the style?" and Dick looked dolefully around.
"By no means--not always. But you must practice economy."
"Have you any acquaintances?"
"Yes, two. We three have formed ourselves into a society for the purpose of going to Italy. We call ourselves the Dodge Club."
"The Dodge Club?"